This week's Game of Thrones is blessedly free of Joffrey, but there's still plenty of other things that are pretty gross. From decapitated heads to surprise incest, things are intense as the houses continue to get ready for impending war. Thankfully, there's also some levity in Westeros, mostly from Tyrion's one-liners and a charming scene between Gendry and Arya.
I definitely missed the characters we don't see this week (well, maybe not Joffrey), like Sansa, Robb, and Jaime, and those we only visit with briefly, like Daenerys. But like each episode of Game of Thrones, there's still a ton to talk about. Let's break it down after the jump.
- Tyrion talks back: I'm glad someone in the Lannister family is up in arms over last week's killing spree. It's Tyrion of course, who takes such issue with Joffrey's slaughter of Robert's illegitimate children that he exiles the Watchman who carried out the order and confronts Cersei about it. Obviously things are going to stay bad as long as Joffrey is king, but I'm still relieved that Tyrion is tasked to be Hand for now.
- The loneliest ride: There's not enough Dany in this episode, but the scene we do get of her is a pretty gory one. Khal Drogo's brother returns — well, I should say, only his head returns. His horse trots back with the macabre cargo, but I'm actually a little more disturbed by how bloody and lacerated the horse is.
- Sickening siblings: And the ewwww moment of the week goes to Theon Greyjoy and his sister. When Theon heads home to greet his father after years, he's treated to an array of indignities, starting with his father insulting his clothes and accusing him of getting too close to the Starks. However, the worst is when the woman who'd given him a horseback ride home — and whom he'd felt up rather eagerly on the way — strides in the room to reveal she's his sister. It's gross, but I also feel like it could have been avoided if Theon wasn't such a pervy horndog.
- Rising son: I'm getting nervous about the hunt for Gendry, especially now that I'm becoming completely invested in him. My affection for him comes from scenes like the one he shares with Arya, when she confesses who her family is. Gendry is endearing as he first apologizes for swearing in front of her, and then launches into full-on teasing as she loses her temper.
- Jon Snow's heroism goes awry: Sam gets a puppydog crush on one of the daughter-wives of the crazy Wilding Craster, and he wants to help her escape when he finds out she's pregnant because she's afraid of what her father-husband (ugh) will do if it's a boy. We find out exactly what he'll do, because Jon Snow (who'd tried to talk Sam out of helping the girl) watches as Craster takes a baby and places it in the woods. Before he can rescue the infant, someone (or something) picks up the child — right as Craster bashes Jon over the head.
- Stannis gets it on: Stannis seems to be completely business-minded as he plots his overthrow of Joffrey — until the flame-haired priestess Melisandre seduces him by promising to give him a son. There's lots of sex this week on Game of Thrones, but this scene is the least sexy.
What else are you still thinking about after watching this week's episode? Are there any characters you'd wished you'd seen more of — or less?