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Gossip Girl Recap: Episode 14, "The Blair B*tch Project"

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 14, "The Blair B*tch Project"

Gossip Girl is back! And while the episode title has Blair's name in it, the night belonged to Jenny. Oh, young, desperate-to-fit-in Jenny. While — like Rufus — I kind of wanted to shut her in her room and ground her for life, she is a fighter and may shape up to be a worthy Blair nemesis after all. This episode also revealed just how Pollyanna-esque Serena can be — she was all rainbows and unicorns (except around Chuck). Perhaps that's what a little Dan in your life will do.

Don't forget to check out Geek's tech quiz, and Bella's beauty quiz and here are my thoughts on what went down with the kids back from Spring break:

  • Uh . . . that Breakfast at Tiffany's dream sequence thing was a cute idea in theory, but mostly it was just kind of nonsensical — and it didn't really tell us anything new about Blair.
  • And Chuck kicks off being Serena's brother by smoking pot in her bathroom, then ups his trademark ick-factor by responding to Serena's plea not to call her "sister" because they don't share DNA and never will with, "Then I suggest you get new hand towels." Ew!
  • We learned right away it ain't cheap being "Queen Bee" — Jenny owed one of her new friends $120 for brunch! If my memory serves me right, that is a lot of babysitting. But there are perks to Jenny's new crew as well, including her trip to Aspen on a private jet.

For more awesomely disgusting zingers from Chuck and the rest of my thoughts on the return of GG,


  • The Bass-Van Der Woodsen wedding planning was in full swing, with Bart Bass laying the guilt on thick for Chuck to be on his best behavior during the planning. Soooo, that's an oxymoron. One of Chuck's best/grossest lines of the night came when a mysterious package arrived for Serena. When Lily asked her to keep that dirty package off the table, Chuck's response was, "If I had a dime for every time I've heard that . . ." What?! Ew!
  • Speaking of Lily and Chuck, the most naive statement of the year goes to Lily who said — in all seriousness — to her daughter, "Chuck may be eccentric, but I doubt he’s diabolical." And the most accurate statement of the year goes to Serena's brother when she grilled him on why he was spending so much time with Chuck: "Chuck is fun!" Hard to argue with that.
  • I loved that the biggest piece of gossip Serena had for Blair was that some girl got her number into Brody Jenner's cell phone. Not that it's hard —if you're a female and you breathe, I'm pretty sure Brody's open to taking your digits.
  • So, by Serena's mysterious inappropriate package No. 2, I was certain Chuck wasn't behind the deliveries and pegged it immediately to Georgina Sparks, Michelle Trachtenberg's character whom anyone with Internet access knows is about to be introduced. Did anyone else find that subplot a wee bit predictable?
  • How cute is Nate when he's being protective of Jenny? For some reason I love him as the nice guy (even more than Dan) and thought he was totally endearing last night. Jenny should stop using him for popularity and fall in love already!
  • Dan and Serena yawn, boring, they're in love. Bring on Trachtenberg.
  • Blair's photo-cake Jenny birthday bash was pretty genius, but Jenny was on her way to self-destruction anyway, because she stole her friend's mom's $15k dress. I was mortified for her. I love Dan's brotherly concern: "Dad's worried you're turning into a hideous cyborg."
  • Anyone else see some flaws in Jenny's logic? She's offended that Rufus thought she was ashamed of her background — but then went on a whiny tirade about how it sucks to be the girl who has to eat a brown-bag lunch.
  • For all that OMFGing that was swirling around, there was a noticeable lack of sex in this episode. It wasn't so much "steaming" as it was "scheming."
  • Was Chuck Bass wearing a cardigan with bass on the front? Ha!

So Blair was back to her evil ways, but she wasn't on top for long. Jenny pulled a Nate out of her pocket — which, it turns out, is more valuable than seats at Butter. I'm glad, though: If Jenny was knocked off her throne in one episode, that would be lame.

So, what do you think this Georgina character has on Serena? Do you think Chuck's dad is too harsh on him? Was last night the kind of return to form you'd expect from the

Photos courtesy of The CW

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Asia84 Asia84 9 years
oh yeah, and i'm sorry, but i would've been taken away by school police for beating the hell out of the girl who threw yogurt on me. i'll play the b*tch gam, but i'll be DAMNED if somebody did THAT to me and had nothing to show for it!
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
sooo at the end of the day, the shop owner didn't notice the Valentino missing (BTW, i saw this actual dress in person at a fashion show, the fabric is AMAZING, and the stitching is to die for)??? it seems like once she noticed it gone, she would've automatically picked Jenny as a suspect when calling the police. and the girl's mom would've called the police, or had her assistant look for the dress in shops like the one Jenny was so stupid to take it to. (it's like the pawn shop). Jenny's dad just let sh*t ride and let her go in her room and cry??!! my parents would've been in my sh*t, asking questions! i thought the episode would've ended with the police coming to Jenny's door . . .but it seems like she's gonna get away with stealing- TWICE! Serena is too high and mighty for me. she acts like she just HATES that she is rich and everyone is sooo shallow. it's like, come on. didn't you get hammered and skanked all around NY and utilized her family status to get out of the real trouble she would've been in if she wasn't rich????? dan is a dipstick. Chuck has a f*cked up dad, but we just don't know why he's such a "diabolical" character. (sarcasm) nate is a jerk. i think he's just mad because Chuck probably put it down better than he did. Blair is cool. she's a natural b*tch. much better than being a wanna be b*tch like Jenny. and the little girls that are thirsty to be in the cool clique; dingy, thirsty, lifeless. AND they are under-classmen. i don't know why Blair would even want them around. . .besides them being your drones. and they ARE better than hanging out with Serena. i'm too old to be watching TV like this . . .(LOL)
candiifloss candiifloss 9 years
OMG I HATE JENNY! im was so glad when it looked like she lost! nd how could she use Nate like that!! i hope he realises nd leaves her. Can't wait for jenny to be dethrowned!
livyourlife livyourlife 9 years
I still really like Serena... =) I used to just love Jenny because she just seemed so genuine, but I can't stand her now! They're trying to play Nate as the good guy, but he def has a double standard holding B's hookup with Chuck against her! Used to despise Chuck, he is growing on me. How Jenny got the Valentino out of the store seems like a huge hole in the story to me... I was really distracted trying to figure out how she did it! hahaha
Monoka Monoka 9 years
i want blair to win ;)
Underdog Underdog 9 years
I didn't like It Not Amused.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
I didn't love this episode also because it was centered on Jenny, and she just isn't very well-written. She doesn't make sense, and I agree there were a ton of little plot holes, even if they can be explained. And wtf is up with writing the same character for that group of five friends (Jenny's)? Maybe that is the point, that they are essentially not thinking individuals, but it's strange. Serena is seriously the most boring, bland character EVER. It is literally painful to watch her on screen. She and Dan make me snooze. Next week with Michelle Trachtenberg hopefully will make it better. I think they are keeping Serena so tame in part so that there is one character who will at least (now) be moral so the show can't be accused of being completely depraved. But, seriously, whatever, this is not Gilmore Girls (which I still loved)!! And, yeah, the writers didn't expect us to care about Nate's double-standard because, well, they thought in general that the viewers would also have double-standards. Women are supposed to be pure and perfect, men can f*ck around with no repercussions, no huge surprise there. It's even more irritating because Nate was still in love with Serena the whole time they were dating. Anyway, Chuck is hot and I wish I could bone him, that is all.
californiagirl-6 californiagirl-6 9 years
Papaver, your list of SATC connections is great! I knew all those minor characters looked familiar to I know why! :)
yeokr yeokr 9 years
i think the reason jenny's inviting nate to butter got her back in was because the girls did not really want to go back to blair and this humiliated and insulted blair enough that they could go back to jenny. i had not thought about nate's double standard before someone mentioned it here, but that makes a lot of sense. how ridiculous of him!
aoitenshi aoitenshi 9 years
I didn't like this episode, mainly because it was centered around Jenny. She's a major social climber now, it's not fun to see. Blair is actually fun to watch when she's being a b*tch, but Jenny isn't. And I don't want her with Nate at all!
bronzebeauty719 bronzebeauty719 9 years
IM so depressed i missed the whole butter scene with nate! and i accidentally deleted it from my dvr can anyone give me the play by play! or can i see it anywhere online?
EkaterinaBallerina EkaterinaBallerina 9 years
Papaver: And Bart Bass played one of Miranda's lovers in two episodes as well! He was introduced before she had Brady and then returned after she'd had Brady. (Remember the line when Brady is crying "Mama's coming!"?) It likely has to do with the companies that operate in Manhattan. That's why you see so many of the same actors swirling around the Law&Order franchises. I also really don't like Chuck but I do think he makes for great entertainment. He's fun to hate. Although I did feel a tad bad for him by the end of this episode, his dad is really harsh on him (though at least his dad does have some morals and an understanding of earning what you've got)
Papaver Papaver 9 years
I noticed few more Sex and the City actors: Dexter the humorless concierge = Jules from Jules and Mimi (the tv show Miranda was so obsessed about) Harold Waldorf = Dominic, Samantha's great love Alison Humphrey = Shayna, the barmaid at Aidan's bar Captain Archibald = Tom Reymi, "the male varsion of Samantha" Roman = Prada salesman who accompanied Charlotte to Smith's stage premiere
Nicola_2108 Nicola_2108 9 years
Jenny is damn annoying. I look forward to the eventual humiliation of Jenny by the awesomely catty Blair. However I feel manipulated, perhaps...are they that good that we are now led to really like Blair in comparison to the irritating Jenny? I also think the actress who plays her has got a lot skinnier within the past few months, her shoulders looked so bony and icky :( I enjoyed the episode, thought the forthcoming 'G' was done well. I swear I must be the only one who doesn't find Chuck appealing in any way. I think it might be a constantly flared nostrils or something :P
LOVErickii LOVErickii 9 years
"upper east cyborg" that line made me laugh good play on words... i loved chuck in this episode
skiwi skiwi 9 years
anyone else recognize Bart Bass from Sex and the City?! he was only on for a couple episodes but he was Miranda's last fling before she got really pregnant lol :P
ameliajc ameliajc 9 years
chuck with actual bass on his sweater-so tacky it was awesome! i loved this episode altho i was also disappointed with the breakfast at tiffanys scene. i thought that would be a bigger part of an episode. even though the Georgina/boxes plot line was predictable because of all the press Michelle Tractenberg's new character has gotten, I still loved the way they set it up. I was glad to see Chuck and Serena on the same side for once too. I think they could have a very interesting friendship, although that's probably still a ways off.
liciababe liciababe 9 years
i'm so glad new eps. are back on but i perfer my queens B'd
ggnelle ggnelle 9 years
that was a great episode! i needed my gg fix...bad. btw i think the quote is "upper easy cyborg" not "hideous cyborg". but maybe i'm wrong. I personally think my way is wittier and more dan-like. :)
supertramp supertramp 9 years
I loved it. I missed Chuck and Blair so much. My favorite line was when Blair was looking for someone to join their two person circle, sees Chuck and says he has a blonde minime and its Erick. That was so hilarious. And was I the only one who thought that Chuck looked a little tan when Blair got back to school and everyone was staring. How did Serena not know that it wasn't Chuck doing that stuff, he may be evil, but he would admit it. And Jenny? She was so stupid. There is no way a custom red Valentino is worth a Dolce and Gabanna dress that Hilary Duff wore to the Grammys last year. She should have at least traded for money and got a newer or better vintage dress. What a fool! And that was so evil bringing Nate to Butter just to try and overthrow Blair. By the way the part where Blair was supposed to be a bitch is that they were supposed to see where she lived and be disgusted. I really think that Jenny is the only one disgusted with herself just because she has to eat a paperbag lunch in the bathroom. I can't wait for Georgina Sparks mainly because she is the reason Serena left and because even Chuck sees her as a threat. But I originally thought she was just the reason Serena hated boarding school so much. Anyways I am once again hooked. Can't wait for next week because you know I love GG.
NiceDriveway NiceDriveway 9 years
DId anyone else think Jenny (Taylor Momsen) is getting waaay too thin? Her shoulders looked so bony, it was scary.
IslandGirl IslandGirl 9 years
Okay i'm sorry but I laughed my behind off when Chuck said the comment about if he had a dime for everytime someone asked him to take his dirty package off the table! hahahahaha Chuck is so funny to me! I really liked this episode too! I'm glad Jenny didn't get kicked off her pedestal after one episode cause that could have made it very boring. But I agree her logic was flawed: she claims she's not ashamed of where she comes from but she cries about having to take brown paper bag lunches to school? Please. Can't wait for next week!!
fleurfairy fleurfairy 9 years
It's official, Chuck is my favorite character on this show. He is so damn HOT. I love a bad boy. Jenny annoys me thoroughly. She is whiney, stupid, and weak and Nate seems a tad too old for her. When are Rufus and Lily going to get together???? They are my favorite couple.
tvjunior tvjunior 9 years
I admit I didn't think the Georgina subplot was predictable - it didn't twig who was sending Serena the gifts till about 3/4 through, even though I knew G would be showing up next week. Yeah, I'm a dummy.
graylen graylen 9 years
The sales lady was distracted by another customer, she went in, changed into the dress and then was holding it up and covering it by her pea coat. So, it looked like she was just wearing the same pea coat she walked in with.
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