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Gossip Girl Recap: Episode 17, "Carnal Knowledge"

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 17, "Carnal Knowledge"

There's a fine line between confident, scheming Blair and petulant, tantrum-throwing Blair, and on this week's episode of Gossip Girl, we get a huge helping of the latter. Frankly, the whole pouty-lower-lip-for-daddy routine wore on my last nerve. I want to see Blair's misguided attempts at standing up for friends and getting what she wants, not stomping her foot and whining. But Blair is actually the least of my concerns this episode, as Dan and the teacher make one idiotic move after another. Let's discuss — just


  • Blair is officially on detention and has to clean up the park (Dorota does this, naturally) and whines to Serena about how sucky Rachel is. But Serena doesn't agree and tells Blair how much this new teacher "gets" her. Ha!
  • It's funny, cause you know who teacher really gets? Dan. And she's gushing to him about his short story over breakfast where Serena catches them. Because that's appropriate — breakfast with teacher.
  • Meanwhile, Chuck awakes to a new morning perplexed because he's having flashbacks to an Eyes Wide Shut evening that he doesn't remember. But there's sex! And masks! He must find out what this place is!
  • Back at school, Rachel says she hopes Blair learned a lesson out there in the park, to which Blair responds sarcastically, "I made friends with a family of squirrels and had lots of time to think."
  • Meanwhile, Serena confronts Dan about spending time with the teacher and Dan's all, "you crazy." And Serena's all, "Silly me, I should trust you."
  • Blair's on the warpath against Rachel and summons her girls to help take her down, but they refuse: "Sorry B, this is your vendetta." Even a hilarious speech about liberty and all that they've worked for doesn't help.
  • Until, of course, the announcement comes that cell phones are now banned from school. Whose fault is this? Rachel's, of course! Hazel, Nelly and those other ones in their bright coats are all officially on board to take Rachel down.
  • Hazel gets the shakes because she can't check Gossip Girl ("Is a scandal still a scandal if you can't text about it?") while Nelly mumbles something about checking the Dow.
  • But ha! Dorota shows up in disguise (dark sunglasses) to give Blair her cell phone. The other girls: "Thank you, Jesus!" Blair: "No. Thank you, Blair."
  • And then Blair spots stupid Dan complimenting the teacher's stupid sweater while she blushes. Blushing is not appropriate, people! She immediately texts Gossip Girl a Mary Kay Letourneau alert with her contraband phone.
  • Chuck, Nate, and Vanessa apparently have no use for school and are figuring out where Chuck went the other night. When they appear at a mysterious address, Vanessa muses, "Is this the Chuck Bass version of Narnia?"
  • OK, so after there's a rumor going around that Rachel is having an inappropriate relationship with Dan, and after she uses the rumor to get Blair expelled, she then deems it appropriate to go have a candle-lit meet up with Dan? After hours?! Dan and this teacher are really, really stupid.
  • Blair almost loses Yale, but then Serena turns on Rachel too and works a little phone-camera magic. One parents' council meeting and one snappy Damages reference later, Rachel's fired.
  • So, she and Dan hook up, because she's already fired for the hugging, so why not? But then she's not fired, so, uh, whoops. Could they pack in more plot twists last night? Sheesh.

You know, this is good. Dan and Rachel's "courtship" makes zero sense, but it's a heck of a lot better than Dan and Serena talking out their "issues" all. the. time. Meanwhile, what do you think about Chuck's subplot? It made me laugh at first (the cheesy flashbacks, Chuck's melodramatic tone) but then I felt a bit bored. Time to sound off!

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Photos courtesy of The CW

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californiagirlx7 californiagirlx7 8 years
This episode was alright but they need to make the storylines more even between the cast members. Jenny was barely in the episode, Eric was nowhere to be seen, and Nate & Vanessa were only in the episode to help Chuck find that mysterious place he went to the night before (and they all skipped school??? wtf). I don't care about Dan & Serena anymore since this is like the millionth time they've split up, but this storyline with Dan and Miss Carr seems really rushed (as do most GG storylines). They need to learn to have better pacing. Anyway, even though Dan and Rachel (Miss Carr) weren't having sex until the end of the episode, their relationship was very innappropriate and she should have been fired for that. Chuck's storyline was kinda intriguing but it came out of nowhere. I thought Blair was acting immature most of the night, but I think this whole Yale debacle with the Headmistress is getting ridiculous. They need to stop all of the back-and-forth, college acceptance is WAY different than it is portrayed on the show.
tiggles101 tiggles101 8 years
MARCH 9TH?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHATTTTT. Hurry up March, geez. Stupid producers...making us wait.
whenturtlesfly whenturtlesfly 8 years
i actually do not mind ms. carr (although i think i'm sorely outnumbered). she's brainier and certainly a better match with dan than serena. teacher-student relationship is yuck though, regardless how small the age gap. but i will say that this episode was horrible. even great lines were somehow offbeat. first ep where i realized (and could see) how GG could go downhill. dan and serena - off again or on again? i rolled my eyes when they broke up.
potterlove potterlove 8 years
I will repeat what I said in the CW forum: So many things that are just messed up in this episode!! What happened to C’s love for B?? Just because there’s a mistaken night with someone intended for his FATHER. Omfg. C, I believe in you, go to B. Not some fancy play girl. And D! Suffice to say, I have no respect for him anymore. Looks like Ms. C and D are the same when it comes to moral issues. Poor S, I wish Headmistress Q would catch those two on the act. Since she’s going to inform Ms. C bout rehiring her right? (Cross-fingers ladies!) Another thing bout D, just because he and S weren’t together when he committed the heinous act, doesn’t save him from the fact that it wasn’t wrong in some level. And S was willing to put the Ms. C incident BEHIND. But what was D doing when S was making amends? He was legitimizing the rumor that started it all! Can’t wait for 9th March for the next ep!!!
scorpion-Tee scorpion-Tee 8 years
I agree with most of you guys comment. I really dont like Mrs. Carr. She gets B in trouble for righting that stuff on Gossip Girl but then she has inappropriate candle lit dinners with a student. Not very smart on your part. Cant wait till shes off the show. and the whole Chuck story line? I will take "Random" for 300 Alex..kinda came out of no where with that one. So to sum up everything. 1-Dan and Mrs Carr= Hell no!! Doesnt make since 2- Serena and Dan= Enough already. Either stay together or break up. 3-Chuck and Blair= Really? no interaction whatsoever... 4-MARCH!!!!!!!! So are we trying to piss off the viewers..I cant believe i have to wait until march for a whole new episode...ugh!
Pop-Champagne Pop-Champagne 8 years
Miss Carr needs to get fired. She's freaking annoying. I like her as much as I liked Aaron. Yuck.
bleached bleached 8 years
This is the first episode of Gossip Girl that I've ever watched and I must admit, the whole teacher-student thing bugs me. Big time. I was teaching abroad for awhile and the number of people who had "inappropriate relationships" with their students was appalling. Granted, to me, one was appalling... So this has totally turned me off
electricxbaby electricxbaby 8 years
I'm on Team Blair. No matter what she does she's definitely going to Yale, so whatevs. Dan is such a douche to not see that the teacher was coming onto him. You do not meet your students out of school!!!!!!!! Or let them call you by your first name! Dan and Serena need to figure out if they are going to be together or not. GET IT OVER WITH. Chuck and Blair need to get together, I think GG should focus on that! Nate and Vanessa are boring, they need to break up and make things interesting, such as JENNY AND NATE LIKE THE BOOKS SAY! Dorota is one of my favourite characters! She is so cute!
kemma kemma 8 years
Loved: Dan to Jenny "raccoon eyes" comment Blair to Dorota "Did anyone recongnize you??" Like big sunglasses hides the facts that she's wearing her little maid tiara thing. It was frustrating how Dan kept saying but Rachel didn't do anything wrong! Um, 1) you're calling her rachel 2) all the students know where shi lives 3) meets students for off campus meals???? Did you do those things in highschool with your teachers? Come on, Dan.
silversnowflake silversnowflake 8 years
I was so not happy on Monday. Slept right through Gossip Girl, One Tree HIll, and CSI: Miami. Ohh how I do not love staying up till 4 am for the sake of my Lit paper... Blair is one of my favorite sources for humor. Sure in that episode she was a bit tantrum B instead of the normal B.; but it was definitely entertaining and worthy of my attention. Chuck, in another life; you are the love of my life. I loved his trippy memories and scandalous moments. Those are signature Chuck Bass elements. Vanessa is starting to rub me the wrong way. Don't know what it is just yet, but, she's so close to my nerves. Dan needs a time out! Seriously, someone please punish him. Preferably Blair... Serena needs to take a longer look at her new/ex teacher. That woman is plotting something... What looks nice is not always that way. I'm waiting for her the real war to get started. One episode is not enough for that character but hopefully she will be better or just as good as the previous people to take Blair on.
tvfilmfan12 tvfilmfan12 8 years
Amazing episode!!
lilegwene lilegwene 8 years
Buzz, that sucks! I will miss my weekly GG indulgence. Loved Blair this week. Love!! She had great outfits, hilarious lines, and a hand in breaking up Dan (whom i loathe) and Serena. Couldn't get any better.
meeshee meeshee 8 years
leighton meester has a tattoo on her arm, BUT... i think they usually cover it up with makeup. in the scene where serena goes to blair's house to show her the picture of dan/rachel, blair TOTALLY has a tattoo in the same spot chuck had his "mark" from the gentleman's club! check it out! i'm totally not joking.. i wonder if there is a connection there or if the makeup people just forgot to cover her tattoo?
Danz Danz 8 years
I could be wrong, but I don't remember Dan telling Ms. Carr that he and Serena had broken up before they slept together. As far as she knows, they're still together. Think this was intentional or a little detail that the writers overlooked?
reesiecup reesiecup 8 years
Good riddance to the S-Lonely Boy saga! I was growing tired of their issues too, and he's just become too self-righteous, predictable (ie. S gives him the cold shoulder and he finds solace in some brunette) and hypocritical. S needs time to get over Dan for real this time. Rachel needs to get Blaired eventually...and I hope it's good :) And I just read spoilers from E!'s Watch with Kristen. OMFG! I won't know what to do with myself until May :( lol
Entertainment Entertainment 8 years
hey guys, most recent info I saw (but not confirmed by the CW at this point) is that GG is in repeats till early March. They started the season so early, there should only be seven or eight episodes left, so they'll have to take some time off between now and May sweeps.
Alithyra Alithyra 8 years
Lots of good one liners in an otherwise boring episode. Chuck: His subplot was kinda random, but it fit with his character. Felt more like a set-up episode with a bigger more interesting plot to follow in later episodes. Needs more Blair though. The -other- plot: The hell? I usually love Blair, but she was in rare form. It was nice to see her dad actually parent and her feel bad about her actions. Hopefully no more of Dan and Serena. And Rachel and Dan? Wow, how amazingly dumb. Everyone involved -- Serena, Blair, Dan, Rachel -- needed more thinking, less doing.
supertramp supertramp 8 years
For the first time in Gossip Girl history, I wasn't very excited about Chuck's plot. They are usually a bit more interesting and I didn't get where it ended up. Blair is still funny to me. Poor little Dorota has to be her sidekick though. And that Damages reference was priceless. And that teacher? Rachel is so annoying, I mean it is a good character, but I wish she were more conniving instead of pretending to be all sweet and appropriate. So I just lost my job because someone said I was romancing my student so why not sleep with him after all! Yeah that's some good class discussion. Yay! Dan and Serena are over. And why is Jenny even on the show anymore? Her little cameo didn't do much for me at all.
QueenElizabeth QueenElizabeth 8 years
oh, and i think blair is so going to murder nelly yuki for telling the truth. same nelly whose future she destroyed by making her do badly on the SATs. blair needs to seriously chill.
QueenElizabeth QueenElizabeth 8 years
dan and ms. carr acted pretty stupid, but come on! cut them some slack! serena should have never given that photo to blair without at least talking to dan. he's her boyfriend for a reason! i guess she didnt realize she was partially destroying his future or something. i'm super mad at both serena and dan for not thinking before acting.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 8 years
Ok, I agree with a lot of what buzz had to say. Honestly Blair was wrong to start that rumor about Ms. Carr but hello breakfast with a student and then AFTER the rumor you have a candlelight dinner with him? Please you're just asking to get fired at that point. And I swear Nate was in his school uniform at one point in this episode yet he never made it to school. I wish he had a part in the main storyline like last season.
Tulipe Tulipe 8 years
All right people, brace yourselves up. This link is a huge spoiler about what is going to happen. Don't follow it if you don't want to know !!
fleurfairy fleurfairy 8 years
Since when was it the writers' chief objective to introduce characters they know viewers will hate? And not love to hate - just plain hate. First Aaaron, now "Rachel." Dan has got to be the stupidest Smart Kid on planet earth. Showing up at this teacher's door at night? Seriously Dan?
elle619 elle619 8 years
I was just telling my cousin/rommie that I hate episodes with no Chuck & Blair interaction. They are the real reason I watch. Where was Eric? Buzz any idea when we can expect new episodes?
zeggy zeggy 8 years
I hope this is the end of Dan and Serena. For good!
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