Skip Nav
Stranger Things
Stranger Things Season 2: Everything We Know
Grey's Anatomy
4 Times Grey's Anatomy Has Used "The Tumor Plot"
Game of Thrones
27 Game of Thrones Season 8 Theories to Read Until the Show Returns

Gossip Girl Recap: Season 2, Episode 3, "The Dark Night"

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 3, "The Dark Night"

OK, why is Gossip Girl so hilarious right now? I can't take any of it seriously, but I'm really loving how ridiculous this season is. I think I had at least three "spit out my water in laughter" moments on Monday — you?

While I, a grown adult woman, am having fun watching, GG's not doing much to quiet those "totally inappropriate for teenagers" complaints and in fact poured about a gallon of fuel on that fire last night. Nearly every plot point pivoted around sex: who's having it, who's not, who wants to have it but can't, who's getting paid to have it, who only has it to avoid talking about "issues," etc.

This episode starts out hot (literally), then gets dark (also literally, see Chuck lurking by candlelight above), at which point things really heat up (figuratively). Here are some of my thoughts from last night:

  • Does anyone else find the constant references to Dan and Serena's "issues" kind of funny? It totally reminds me of high school and the need to psychoanalyze relationships with vague, adult-ish terms.
  • How'd you like those three little Dan/Serena stalker girls in the park? I thought they were hilarious and slightly creepy but ultimately a welcome respite from Dan and Serena's PDA/"issues"-speak.

To see the rest of my thoughts on Chuck, Blair, the Lord, and Nate the gigolo,


  • So yeah, Nate's a gigolo! Or sex slave . . . or something. His body's being held hostage by an evil "aging beauty enjoying her last hurrah before the surgeries start," as Blair puts it.
  • And Nate's a moron for telling the Duchess where his dad is. Think, Nate, think!
  • Back to Serena and Dan for a moment: I'm just not sure why he gets so mad that his girlfriend comes with perks that make life a teensy bit better. I know: He has overriding philosophical objections to the uber-wealthy and their ability to get away with stuff the rest of us can't — but I think he needs to choose his battles. Getting righteous over a shortcut out of that elevator is pretty annoying.
  • Chuck can't have sex with random girls. Ha! Is that karma talking? How'd you like his cigar jacket, by the way?
  • I loved that when Dan asks Serena how her day went, her answer is, "Chuck had a Japanese stewardess over today."
  • Nastiest line of the night goes to Serena, who warns Chuck, "You are not using Blair as sexual Drano." I needed a hug after that.
  • Blair also does some scheming around Nate, dragging poor Vanessa into it. "You think I'm just going to sit back and watch you have an affair on my boyfriend's mother? Guess again!" Oh the tangled, icky webs these kids weave.
  • A really funny moment after the lights go out: Vanessa asks Blair if she's seen Nate, and Blair replies, "Um, no. It's a blackout."
  • I nearly died of laughter when Chuck appears in the dark bedroom where Blair is waiting for her Lord and speaks in an accent. That is exactly why I watch this show.
  • I liked the story around Eleanor Waldorf and Jenny bonding, especially when they send Rufus and his new girlfriend (?) to fetch sandwiches.

Ding-dong, the Serena/Dan relationship is dead! Are you as happy as I am? I'm all for love, but . . . they're boring. Are you rooting for Nate and Vanessa? What about Blair and the Lord?

Photos courtesy of The CW

lilkimbo lilkimbo 8 years
Actually, I've heard Ed Westwick speak, that was his "real" accent.
am I the only one who caught that Blair's eyes rolled back in her head when Chuck was whispering in her ear? I thought that was hysterical. It was a really great episode, overall. And I'm super happy that Dan and Serena are FINALLY over! TOOK LONG ENOUGH!
reesiecup reesiecup 9 years
* I meant Serena--or Blake's character.
reesiecup reesiecup 9 years
Dan is getting a little annoying. Blair needs to get over it and find someone who will accept her for who she is--even if she isn't sure yet. I'm wayyy past high school, but I still often wonder who I am. I think my boyfriend deals with it quite well :)
pimprenelle pimprenelle 9 years
I cried over Dan and Serena's re-breakup. I know they should annoy me but I still get moved, I'm sooo soppy. The Lord's accent sucks, I confirm, and I live in England. Plus Blair needs to stop calling him the lord, who does that? Catherine is the most non-believable character of this show so far (apart from THE LORD). She, a duchess,even by marriage? Who's feeling alive thanks to Nate's hot piece of ass? Right... Just kick her out. Her bitchiness also can't face Blair's. As for Chuck he really is looking hot hot hot. And I much prefer his natural accent. I have a question though, I'd read somewhere that Michelle Trachtenberg was coming back. Has anyone heard about that? I would love to have her back, especially if it involves Serena letting her hair down and stopping being grumpy.
xlightningboltx xlightningboltx 9 years
*Most sad ep. so far. I'm going to miss Dan/Serena! *Loved Vanessa in this one. *Jenny was adorable..and hello? Rufus' girlfriend?? *LOL at the Chuck/the Lord story-line! *Catherine is a Class-A bitch. My fav ep. of season two. But it really was sad.
cibele cibele 9 years
You're right, Serena and Dan are boring. They are finally over, but i guess they'll come back together eventually. Unfortunately. Plus, their isssues are boring and stupid, like you said, Dan is ridiculous for being all bothered about Serena's perks.
C-a-n-d-i C-a-n-d-i 9 years
Screw the Blair/Lord combo...I want more of Chuck and Blair. The Chuck vs. Lord thing makes this season. Also...Nate + Vanessa...I don't even like Vanessa, but I'd rather him with her than Catherine... -sigh- I get too involved in this show lol
esweet esweet 9 years
I haven't seen the show yet this season, but am I the only one who loved Dan and Serena together? I'm such a hopeless romantic and even though they were a bit sappy, I loved it!
zeggy zeggy 9 years
Chuck and Blair are becoming boring with their story! The writers are doing their best to ruin another couple. I like Dan and Serena together but it's time to give them another storyline and let them mature apart. Later I want to see them back together. Nate and Vanessa are cute together, but Chaterine has to go!
aoitenshi aoitenshi 9 years
I'm really enjoying Gossip Girl this season! I love Serena and Dan, I want them together. And I want Blair and the Lord together, just because. I don't like Nate and Vanessa together though, it just seems off. p.s. I saw Ann from ANTM Cycle 3 too. I recognized her as soon as she came up onscreen.
LilGlamDiva LilGlamDiva 9 years
That was a great episode. I'm so over the Serena/Dan relationship. Either get back together or don't, I really couldn't care less I feel bad for Nate, the cougar has him in her trap! Rawrrrr! Yay for hearing Chuck's real accent, altough, I'm kind of sad about Marcus but I'm glad Blair is finally trying to follow her heart! What a tough situation to be in, torn between two hot guys! LOL Can't wait for next week!!! As always! xoxo
elle-j elle-j 9 years
I totally noticed Ann for ANTM!
Hmorris Hmorris 9 years
I love that this show is so popular with my friends (I'm 28). Maybe it's the NYC backdrop or something. That episode was great...and so scarily real in the way elite high schoolers are! I went to a private high school and there definitely was money, sex and lies there! The only thing I was disappointed at because of it's cliche/obviousness was the Chuck/Blair moment in the dark when her back is turned. That's done all the time! Not original, but hey at least they got their groove on. I love Blair and Chuck! Team Blair all the way.
lolalu lolalu 9 years
I kind of hate myself for watching this show haha , but I just can't stop.... the episode was kind of creepy though.
itoldyou itoldyou 9 years
blair and chuck need to get together. it was hot when they hooked up
pargie pargie 9 years
Loved this ep! This show is such a guilty pleasure, it's crazy. What's strange is I had just got done watching the movie Dream Lover...with the actress who plays the based on that, there's a creepiness to her that I couldn't get out of my mind. The tweens were cute, I loved how Serena was like "Now shooo", or something, which I thought was pretty mean considering, yet hilarious at the same time. I heart Blair's facial expressions, she's such a Queen B.
amloveaffair amloveaffair 9 years
"This epsiode was pretty funny, I mean can they make Chuck any more "icky."...When he said blow out your candle in that British accent was hillarious. This show is so unrealistic I think that's why I enjoy it so much." That's his real accent. I also wanted to see more of B&M and what went down there. They keep us wanting more.
berrypeachie berrypeachie 9 years
This episode was so weird! You would think Blair would act smarter since she's trying to get into Yale. Dan and Serena, they should get over it, they have such a weird "relationship" of not telling the truth or else not talkign to each other at all. And those tweenies who came up to talk to Dan, awkward! But cute in a way, its almost like GG is a celebrity site rather than an Upper East Side gossip site.
californiagirlx7 californiagirlx7 9 years
Oh yeah, I also saw Ann from ANTM too! I forgot her name though until I saw this post. I didn't like her that much...
californiagirlx7 californiagirlx7 9 years
I thought last night's episode was great, and hilarious! But this line creeped me out too, Buzz..."You are not using Blair as sexual Drano." Gross. Dan & Serena are very immature. I'm sick of hearing about their "issues"...I've even forgot what they are. Dan kissing Georgina? BFD.
supertramp supertramp 9 years
I can't believe Nate is a gigolo. That whore. Catherine is a manipulative little cougar. I mean she's having an affair with Nate, while she's married, and Nate isn't allowed to have someone on the side. I felt so bad for Vanessa and usually I don't enjoy her character, but she just wanted to cry so bad, it was awful. I know she did what she thought was best cause she didn't want to betray Nate, but she should have at least told him. Uhh! Again I hate Catherine, " he makes me feel alive." Well find someone else, thats so messed up. And Dan & Serena frustrated me. I was so annoyed of them talking about how they haven't talked about their reasons for breaking up. Coming from two different worlds really doesn't hurt a relationship that much, they should get over it. I mean I thought it was a little sad because they still love each other, but they created the problems themselves. By the way those little girls were hilarious. I really wanted their headbands. For the main reason I watch the show now. Oh I've been expressing for a while now, that I've never been more excited for two people to have sex, than for Chuck and Blair. And they didn't even have sex. Ughh! They could have at least broken her and Marcus up, but noo! I'm going to try keeping my hopes up because I want them to be together so much. I really loved it when Catherine asked Blair if she'd seen Nate and she responded with, "No, but if you find him, my bedroom floor is off limits." Hilarious! Also its pretty funny that Chuck can't have sex with anyone, which is great because I want him to wait until Blair comes to her senses, which better not take long. That scene where he's making out with that girl in the limo was going to piss me off if it ended how I thought it would but it didn't. When he stopped her she said, "What? I thought you were better now." To which he responded, "I am. But not for you." I got so happy like literally, I almost jumped up and down!
pianissima pianissima 9 years
A really funny moment after the lights go out: Vanessa asks Blair if she's seen Nate, and Blair replies, "Um, no. It's a blackout." hahaah i loved that part too, but actually it was catherine who asked if she'd seen nate. and also, i thought the tween girls were slightly ridiculous. at first i thought it was going to be like a dream sequence-type deal, which would be lame, but it wasn't...which is just as lame. i agree that this was a really predictable episode, but with all the pretty on the screen, i can't say i really mind ;)
mariellynelly mariellynelly 9 years
I forgot all about Jenny. Her storylines are just pointless to me. I hardly pay attention when she's on the screen.
Celebrity Lookalikes | Celebrities That Look the Same
Blake Lively's Fake Lob Haircut
This Is What Your Favorite Gossip Girl Characters Would Buy From Zara Today
Leighton Meester and Adam Brody Talk About Blair and Seth
From Our Partners
Latest Entertainment
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds