In "The Return," Oscar comes back from his vacation, Jim pushes Andy's patience to the edge, and several members of the office are surprised to find just how much they miss Dwight, who is now working at Staples. Angela tries to deal with Dwight's absence, while Karen straight-up asks Jim if he still has feelings for Pam.
To find out if he does, and to read all of the greatest hits from this week's episode of "The Office,"
- Dwight, regarding his job search:
"How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working. Alpha male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable."
"There's nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything's on my horizon."
- Dwight, in dealing with customers:
"I will literally be standing right here if you need anything at all."
"Just go with the copier paper; it's your funeral. See how that works out for you."
- When Andy starts singing "Andy and the Tuna" to the tune of "Bennie and the Jets," Jim admits, "I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win."
- Kevin: "Oh, hello, Oscar. How was your GAY-cation?"
Oscar: "That's very funny."
Kevin: "Yeah. I thought of that like, two seconds after you left."
- Michael, regarding Andy, "There's just something about him that creeps me out. I can't really explain it. He's always up in my bidness. Which is ebonics for being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me."
"Who's that sportscaster that bit that lady? Mark something? Andy is like Mark something. Great sportscaster. Big weirdo creep."
- Jim, talking to Ryan: "I liked you better as the temp."
Ryan: "Me, too."
- Dwight's Staples coworker, on Dwight: "I don't like him, his giant head, or his beady little eyes. And that's all I got to say about that."
- Michael, regarding Oscar's return, and party: "A celebration of Oscar. Oscar night!"
Michael, on what defines Oscar, "Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexicanness is what defines you."
- Ryan draws a tilde over the "N" and an accent mark over the "E" on a carton of lemonade to make it "Mexican Lemonade."
- On his cell phone being stolen, Andy explodes: "Here's a newsflash: it's not funny! In fact, it's pretty freakin' unfunny!"
He then punches a hole in the wall, and follows up by saying, "That was an overreaction."
- "I think we broke his brain." — Pam, on the practical joke she and Jim played on Andy
- "It takes a big man to admit his mistake, and I am that big man." — Michael, tracking down Dwight to ask him back to the office
- Dwight, looking around in amazement at the "Mexicanity" party, complete with a banner that reads "Welcome Back, Oscar," says to Michael, "You did this for me?"
Michael responds, "Guilty."
- "I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I'm going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me." — Michael