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"Pirate Master": Even More Ridiculous Than I Expected!

"Pirate Master": Even More Ridiculous Than I Expected!

Of course, I knew "Pirate Master" was going to be silly, but this week's premiere episode was more absurd than I was expecting. Basically, it feels like a parody of a reality show, not an actual series that anyone should take seriously. I recommend watching it very late at night, when you've already got the giggles. Here were some of the most over-the-top moments:

  • First of all, how did they make a pirate show without a plank? Nobody walks the plank; instead, the rejected wannabe pirate gets lowered onto a raft and then literally set adrift ... where I'm sure he or she travels about 15 feet before being rescued by a team of CBS producers.
  • Nothing about this show is even remotely real. The lagoon where the "pirates" carried out their challenges looked basically like "Six Flags Over Blackbeard," with super-fake skeletons dangling from trees and artfully-placed slimy moss. And there's no way those crabs just happened to find their way in to the chest filled with the $40,000 in gold coins. Speaking of which, isn't that a remarkably round figure for coins that were supposedly buried hundreds of years ago?
  • The outfits Joe Don and the officers got after their election looked way more like Civil War reenactment costumes than pirate gear.
  • John, we hardly knew ye ... and your "scientist/exotic dancer" self. Granted, he was a little crazy and looked like a refugee from an '80s hair-metal band and made me uncomfortable, but he would have been fun to watch for a few more weeks.
  • Not a single "yarrrrrr" all episode, people! Not a single "ahoy" or "matey," either! C'mon, pirates, you've got to step it up.
  • Photo courtesy of CBS

Join The Conversation
LaLaLaurie06 LaLaLaurie06 10 years
the guy in the pirate hat looks like Joe Millionaire...
Hope5 Hope5 10 years
I didn't watch it!
soccer_obsessed soccer_obsessed 10 years
:rotfl: I tired watching this and I gave up it was some bad rip off of survivor especially at the end give us a reason to stay I was just like WOW and changed the channel :p
Fab_Kitty Fab_Kitty 10 years
I missed it because $2 margaritas were beckoning me to go out. Sorry to hear it was disappointing. :-(
thehabra thehabra 10 years
"Not a single "yarrrrrr" all episode, people! Not a single "ahoy" or "matey," either! C'mon, pirates, you've got to step it up. " Bwahaha!How cute
radarkitty radarkitty 10 years
I just couldn't bring myself to watch it. Glad I didn't waste my time!
Kazagirl Kazagirl 10 years
I watched last night...I am not sure what to think of it. Way too much like Survivor and way too staged. I was definitely expecting more and I am pretty sure I won't be watching again.
JennaV JennaV 10 years
Your description is hilarious!!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: What the f? No plank? LAME.
Jinx Jinx 10 years
LOL! Right on Buzz! I'm so glad you think so. I couldn't stop laughing, I kept switching to the Office repeat.
mollipop mollipop 10 years
I watched this last night, and thought it was one of the cheesiest shows I've seen in a while. BuzzSugar your description of this show as seeming like "a parody of a reality show" is right on target.
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