Ben H. has gone back to Denver, and I officially don't care about anything anymore. OK, OK, I'm speaking in hyperbole, but to be more specific, I don't care about The Bachelorette [1] anymore. Pardon my cynicism, but whether Kaitlyn selects Nick or Shawn as her future ex-fiancé, their several months of secret rendezvouses will eventually descend into a breakup once the challenges of real-life coupledom set in.

Fortunately, by then, we'll have moved on to obsessing over The Bachelor [2] instead. Even though ABC has yet to confirm the rumors about the new Bachelor [3], everyone is buzzing about who will be chosen (even Kaitlyn's exes have began contemplating what they would do if they were offered the coveted role [4]). So rather than wonder whether Kaitlyn will accept a Neil Lane ring from one of her remaining suitors, let's turn our attention to the less-bleak futures of Kaitlyn's runners-up. In order of likelihood, here's who could be handing out the roses come Winter.

Nick

Advantages: Now, this would be interesting. If Nick gets picked as the Bachelor [5], it'll be a gimmick akin to the whole two-Bachelorettes [6] fiasco. If we view appearing on the show purely as paying dues, he does deserve it more than any other guy.

Disadvantages: We can't quite put our fingers on it, but like every guy on the show has said (except Jared because, well, he's Jared and he never says anything mean about anybody), there's something about the guy that just seems off [7]. Maybe it's the way he was cozying up to Andi Dorfman before he set his sights on Kaitlyn, or the way he mumbles with his hand over his mouth, or perhaps it's just the fact that he explained his decision to come on the show by calling Kaitlyn a "cool chick." If 25 women are subjected to that behavior, America is going to be angry. Whether that uproar would be for better or for worse is for the producers to decide.

Shawn

Advantages: Shawn emerged early on as an audience favorite, with comparisons to actor Ryan Gosling [8], though I'm not that impressed when I see him next to the other candidates.

Disadvantages: I doubt Shawn will be the Bachelor [9] because I think he'll win The Bachelorette [10]. I also don't think he deserves the honor. Aside from the superficial reasons, let's face it — he's come off as kind of a nut. But who knows? Maybe being the one handing out the roses will make him regret the tantrums he threw every time Kaitlyn gave someone else a rose.

Ben Z.

Advantages: I don't think Ben Z. is a likely candidate for the Bachelor [11]; the two I'm about to name are the only real options. But between his touching story about his mother's death, his sweet gestures toward Kaitlyn, and his inspirational tweets, he stands a better chance than a two-time Bachelorette villain or Kaitlyn's likely future ex-fiancé.

Disadvantages: It's rare for a contestant who is not in the final three to have a shot at their own show, though it almost happened to Britt.

Jared

Advantages: We may like Jared to varying extents, but he's really hard to dislike. My mensch radar went off every time the Warwick, RI, restaurant manager opened his mouth, from his incomprehensibly calm reaction to Nick's arrival to his gentlemanly offer to give Kaitlyn his coat as she said goodbye to him out in the cold. Who wouldn't want a love letter like the one Jared wrote Kaitlyn? Jared is living proof that nice guys finish . . . fourth. But in my book, he finishes second.

Disadvantages: Jared may be too down-to-earth for his own good and lack the star charisma necessary to be the Bachelor [12].

Ben H.

Advantages: I've been saying this from the get-go: even though Ben H. didn't win The Bachelorette [13], he wins at life. He can explain sex to elementary-school children without breaking a sweat, two-step without tripping over anything, and turn an Irish wake into a comedy show. The software salesman won't be in Denver for long; he'll be flying back to LA to shoot his season of The Bachelor [14] in no time.

Disadvantages: There's a chance Ben H.'s age could give the producers pause. At 26, he'd be a great deal younger than the last Bachelor, Chris Soules (33), and penultimate Bachelor, Juan Pablo Galavis (31 at the time of his season). Then again, Bachelorette Emily Maynard was 26 during her season, so maybe it's time the show ditched its double standards.