In February 2015, the first film adaptation of E. L. James's bestselling Fifty Shades trilogy hit the big screen. Starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson [1], Fifty Shades of Grey [2] followed the beginning of the relationship between English major, Anastasia Steele (Johnson), and billionaire mogul, Christian Grey (Dornan). During their time together, Christian exposes Ana to the world of BDSM, and she does her best to fit into it (the film features a lot of sex scenes, in case you weren't aware). However, Christian's sexual preferences, as well as his controlling and unaffectionate behavior, prove too much for the 21-year-old and she ends the relationship.

After waiting two long years to see Christian and Ana get back together, the film's sequel, Fifty Shades Darker [3], finally premiered. The second installation of the trilogy gives fans a glimpse into Christian's background, introduces new characters [4], and explores all-new aspects of Christian and Ana's intense relationship.

A fan of both the books, and the films, I eagerly purchased a ticket to a sold-out Thursday-night screening of Fifty Shades Darker, before its official Friday release. Below is a list of all the (appropriate!) things that raced through my mind as I watched the steamy flick [5]. Take a look to see if you had any similar thoughts! WARNING: Major spoilers ahead.

1. What is that horrendous screeching sound? Why would you start a movie that way?
2. Little Christian is so adorable.
3. I like this song. Is that Coldplay's "The Scientist?" I wonder who's singing it . . . *Googles quickly* Ooh! Corinne Bailey Rae. This is amazing [6].
4. How does her boss know how she takes her coffee? Or, is it tea? Either way, that's odd.
5. Kate's on a vacation with Elliot? Isn't that a little soon to be traveling outside of the country with someone? How much time has passed? Whatever, she seems happy.
6. LOL! Ana's taking the bus. Guess she still hasn't found a replacement for the car that Christian got her.
7. That's the dress! She's wearing the dress that she wore during her business meeting in Fifty Shades of Grey. Christian loved that dress . . .
8. Ana's boss is officially creepy.
9. Oh God, there are a lot of photos of her at this gallery show. Is this the same gallery show José mentions at the beginning of the first movie?
10. Seriously, how much time has passed?!
11. Christian totally bought all of Ana's portraits.
12. Yes! There he is! Finally! The beard is a good look for him [7].
13. Steak and fries? I'm surprised Christian doesn't eat healthier.
14. Did she have bangs before?
15. Christian smiles so much more in this movie. I approve.
16. Did this HR lady and Jack (Ana's boss) have a fling or something? They seem . . . awkward.
17. Is Taylor just watching Christian and Ana make out?
18. FINALLY! Goodbye forever, flip phone. Hello, iPhone 7.
19. Christian does not belong in a grocery store.
20. This sex scene is way more graphic than the BDSM stuff that happened in movie one. What is this rated?
21. This is just like that scene in Twilight [8]! (The one where Edward is watching Bella sleep, but when she wakes up, he's mysteriously gone.)
22. Christian's butt!!!
23. So that's Mrs. Robinson . . . interesting.
24. Wow. He's actually wincing when she touches his chest.
25. "You're not putting those in my butt." HAHAHA!

26. Is the charity poster a photo of 4-year-old Christian? Grace is such a mom.
27. OK, last time. How much time has passed?
28. LOL, teenage Christian.
29. Mrs. Robinson is kind of bat sh*t.
30. Decoy cars? Really? Calm down, Christian. You're not the president.
31. Aw, he named the boat after his mom. Sweet.
32. Didn't buy a coffee for Ana today? Someone's in a mood . . .
33. "Dating Christian, it's not like you need to work." Her boss is such a jerk!
34. LOL at Ana trying to ask if Mrs. Jones cleans the sex toys.
35. The leg restraints expand! (That kind of scared me at first, not going to lie.)
36. Is it just me or is this "vanilla" relationship way more graphic than the Dom/Sub one?
37. I kind of miss all of the constant email and texting exchanges from Fifty Shades of Grey.
38. OK, JACK IS WAY TOO CLOSE TO HER. Christian is going to kick his a*s when he finds out about this. Whoever taught Ana self-defense deserves a thank you note.
39. She has such a great wardrobe. I wonder if these are her own clothes or ones that Christian bought for her . . .
40. Now it's like Ana doesn't even want a "vanilla" relationship. My, my, my how the tables have turned.
41. "Panties" is such a gross word.
42. OMG! That's a quote from Working Girl [9]! Her mom's (Melanie Griffith) movie! Very cute.
43. Oh sh*t, it's the stalker.
44. Oh f*ck! That gun was LOUD.
45. Master?? I thought his subs called him Sir . . .
46. So, a crazy stalker just tried to murder you, yet, you're going to walk alone . . . in an alley . . . in the dark . . . with no phone . . . while it's raining? Cool, cool.
47. Are Christian and Ana the only people with lines in this movie? I miss Kate.
48. "She scared me, but you scared me more." Seriously, Ana? WTF does that even mean?
49. All his subs look like his dead birth mother! That is kind of messed up, not going to lie.
50. He's letting her touch his chest!!! (It's weird that this is such a milestone.)

51. MARRIAGE? She hasn't even moved in yet!
52. *Christian works out* YAAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!!!
53. Oh, that's the trick he did on Conan [10].
54. "I wanna marry you." "Why?" Ana is me.
55. What kind of work does Christian have to do in a helicopter? Is he surveying the land? I'm confused.
56. The chopper is on fire. I know he'll survive. But, I'm still very worried.
57. Oh, thank goodness he survived! I mean, I knew he would. But, I'm still relieved.
58. He looks really good in t-shirts. He should wear those more.
59. "He's safe, but he looks like sh*t." I love how blunt Elliot is.
60. Survives a helicopter crash, crosses state lines with no phone or wallet, but still manages to keep the birthday gift she got him. Amazing.
61. Why wasn't she wearing a bra this whole time?
62. Oh! He is very naked [11].
63. Ana's boobs get more attention than any character in this movie.
64. Gretchen is giving off some serious shade.
65. Why is this announcement kind of hilarious [12]?
66. Mrs. Robinson was totally lurking. Yes, Ana! Toss that drink in her face! So tired of her crap.
67. Does Christian always have a handkerchief handy? So classy.
68. Ana just looks silly now.
69. "Leave my children alone!" Children! She referred to Ana as her child! I think Grace is my new favorite character.
70. THE RING IS SO BEAUTIFUL! When did he have time to set up this proposal [13]?
71. "Be mine. Share my life with me. Marry me." I mean, these are still all commands. But, yes!
72. Holy sh*t, is that Jack?? He looks A MESS. What happened to him?
73. It may be ominous, but I'm so glad this didn't end on a cliffhanger like the first movie.
74. This Zayn/T-Swift song is actually really catchy.
75. If I just stayed in my seat and watched the next screening, would anyone notice?