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Recap and Review of Desperate Housewives Episode "Chromolume #7"

Desperate Housewives Recap, "Chromolume #7

Well, it seems like this week's episode of Desperate Housewives is a bit of a signal that we're starting to head down the homestretch of the season. We already know that the finale will be a big revelation (and will mark Drea de Matteo's exit as Angie), so the secrets have slowly started to spill out.

This week we got a few fairly big reveals: Angie opens up to Gaby about her deep dark secret, and Bree discovers Sam's hidden agenda. The Scavos have some drama of their own when Preston comes home from Europe while Susan and Mike's problems are dwarfed in comparison to what's happening with their neighbors. Let the recapping begin when you


  • First and foremost, can we talk about Preston's mustache? I know a lot went down this week, but the image of him in the plaid lumberjack shirt with the ridiculous porn 'stache is seared in my brain. To go with his new look, he brings home a foxy girlfriend named Irina, who Lynette immediately identifies as a gold digger. Poor Preston has yet to bring home a nice girl to his parents (remember when he was sleeping with his friend's mom?) and I don't see this one ending well for him either. Hopefully, though, it will prompt him to shave.
  • Thanks to cameos from Heidi Klum and Paulina Porizkova, we learn that Gaby was even sassier back during her modeling days. When she heads back to NYC to track down Ana, she realizes that her friends were actually enemies and that Ana is following right along in her footsteps. Gaby manages to convince Ana to work on her 'tude and stay on a good path (you know, so someday guys can ogle her face along with whatever piece of machinery she's posing with).
  • Danny has a busy week of winning back Ana's heart, meeting his grandma for the first time, and feuding with his mom. Angie and her mother have a heartfelt reunion. . . and then Angie gets slapped. Poor grandma just wants to spend time with her family, and assures Angie that Patrick doesn't care about them anymore. Of course, Patrick has a spy who manages to see right through Angie's clever disguise and report back to him. Um, after 18 years that's the best he can do? Or do you think he's actually been spying on the family all along and is the guy who attacked Julie?
  • Sam's only been around for one episode but that's enough to make Andrew bonkers. He shows up at work drunk when Sam immediately gets promoted — though can you really blame him? Bree accidentally discovers that Rex is Sam's father (because Sam leaves his door unlocked; it's really too simple), and Sam gives Bree a long, emotional, explanation of how he always wanted to be part of Rex's perfect family. I still can't decide if Sam has some sort of creepy ulterior motive, especially because he has no real ties to Bree. Wouldn't he be more interested in connecting with his half brother? Apparently not.
  • So Angie breaks down and tells Gaby the nitty gritty about her past life: she was an environmentalist out to save the world, got mixed up with a bad guy, and — oops! — someone got murdered. None of this is news to us, but then she drops the bomb and tells Gaby that Patrick is Danny's real father. I don't know how I didn't see that one coming, but my jaw totally dropped.

Photo courtesy of ABC

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