Alright, we've got one more for ya. After being introduced to this '80s throwback Dwayne Johnson pillow [1] and this oh-so-alluring Jeff Goldblum pillow [2], Parks and Recreation [3] fans will be happy to know that Pawnee's own Ron Swanson, aka Duke Silver, is officially available on Etsy for your sequin pillow swiping pleasure — and, look, he's smiling! OK, we can't actually tell because Ron Swanson has the emotional range of a teaspoon, but just imagine the laughs you'd get out of having a Swanson pillow on your couch all the time.
Thanks to Etsy user Memeskins [4], Ron can convey his constant displeasure to you and all of your house guests in red, gold, and rose gold pillow form. If you're looking for a more subdued version to blend in with the rest of your decor, then the Ron Swanson Faces Pillow [5] ($28) might be for you. For Parks and Rec fans with a strong love of whisky and breakfast food, the large-print Ron Swanson Face Pillow [6] ($28) might be more to your liking.
As unsettling and hilarious as these pillows are, I absolutely need one in my life, and in the words of Ron Swanson, "I regret nothing. The end."
Ron Swanson Faces Sequin Pillow
Ron Swanson Faces Sequin Pillow [8] ($28)
Ron Swanson Face Sequin Pillow
Ron Swanson Face Sequin Pillow [9] ($28)