"Don’t play hard to get with a man who's hard to get."
"Reality check. A guy can just as easily dump you if you f*ck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth."
"Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it’s good you can’t get it anymore. If it’s bad you just had sex with an ex."
"Men aren’t that complicated. They’re kind of like plants."
"The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you."
"Oh please, there’s always a competition with an ex; it’s called 'who will die miserable?'"