Yawn. Did someone forget to tell the "American Idol" guys that it matters now? Tuesday night's performances were just plain dull, especially considering that this show will put six of them in the magical top 12. Not even Paula could think of anything nice to say to most of these guys, dropping her crazy-ometer score to a season-low 3 out of 10.
Did you manage to stay awake through the performance show? If so, here's a ballot where you can pick the six you think are moving on and the two going home. To see my take,
Blake Lewis (at right): Turns out, Blake likes improv comedy and Halloween. I knew we had a lot in common! He sang 311's "All Mixed Up" with some beatboxing and a reggae tinge. None of the judges recognized the song (I guess they weren't listening to late-'90s alt-rock radio), but they applauded Blake for sounding original.
Sanjaya Malakar: His straightened hair? Totally not working for me. His singing? Also not working for me — or for the judges. Randy says Sanjaya used to be special but now the spark is gone; Simon says it "wasn't as ghastly as last week" but suggests his "Paula hair" is what's keeping him in the competition.
Sundance Head: Sundance made me like him for a second by making a joke about how he's actually thin in real life and just wears the fat suit for "Idol." Then he attempted Pearl Jam's "Jeremy." Randy and Paula acted like mixing Pearl Jam and Southern rock was the most amazing idea known to man, while Simon thought he sounded like a bar singer. Excuse me, I need to go listen to "Better Man" now.
Chris Richardson (at left): Much to my chagrin, Timberfake is winning me over. But does anybody else think he sounds nasally on slower songs like the one he did on Tuesday? The judges like that he's mixing up his style, but they weren't wowed.
Jared Cotter: He's one of the only guys in the competition whom I could see pulling off Stevie Wonder, but his performance seemed over-rehearsed and boring. Paula — Paula! — slammed him, saying he needs to add more texture to his singing. Simon thought Jared lacks the "wow factor."
Brandon Rogers: Yikes, was it really a good idea to sing "I Just Want to Celebrate" at this stage of the competition? It's just not a song that requires a whole lot, vocally, and Brandon kind of screwed up the big run at the end. Paula thought it was phenomenal, but Randy and Simon were lukewarm.
Phil Stacey (at right): Oh, Phil. Bad hat. Bad song. The dude can belt a chorus, but this one sounded off-key and awful, especially the low notes. I was cringing in my living room. Not even Paula was pleased.
Chris Sligh: Google tells me his song was "Wanna Be Loved" by DC Talk. His performance was just average, but this was the kind of night when average was good enough. None of the judges liked his song choice, but Randy said his was the best vocal performance of the night, and Simon said he has potential.
Who should go: Sanjaya and Phil
Who will go: Phil and Jared, unless Sanjaya's mysterious voting base finally gives up.
Your turn! Tell me who you think has sung his last "Idol" song by filling out this ballot.
Photos courtesy of Fox