There are hundreds of shows on TV right now. I get it; the struggle is real. But what if you could find the exact right shows for you without having to weed out all the duds using just your astrological sign? Maybe you can. Because, you know, science. Well, it's definitely not science, but it might just help you sort through the scads of really good, mediocre, and not-so-great TV.
Aries (March 21 — April 20)
Aries babies have incredible clarity and a little something called vision. They’re intense, a little selfish, and really passionate. This makes them terrible roommates, but excellent spokesmen. Shows that feature humans at their best and worst will interest Aries the most. And melodrama . . . lots and lots of melodrama.
- Grey’s Anatomy
- House of Cards
- Empire
- The 100
- Homeland
Netflix pick: Parenthood [2]
Taurus (April 21— May 21)
Taurus signs need order in their lives to feel secure, but are patient when they get to work at their own pace. Couple this with their sensuality, and they are the world’s best sexual partners. They may take their time; however, they are often afraid of change, so sometimes they rely on old habits. They are champs at waiting in line at the DMV, but panic when they have to take a new pic. Long-running shows are best for them, but they should also seek out shows that look beautiful, as well.
- The Americans
- Doctor Who
- American Crime Story
- The Big Bang Theory
- Law & Order: SVU
Netflix pick: The Wonder Years [3]
Gemini (May 22 — June 21)
Geminis are known for being high energy with a very low tolerance for boredom. They are usually jacks of all trades, so their knowledge can be characterized as "a little bit about a lot." Ask Geminis to be your trivia partners but never to help with your research project. Shows with lots of twists and dramatic turns are best for Geminis.
- Game of Thrones
- Elementary
- The Walking Dead [4]
- UnREAL
- The Night Of
Netflix pick: American Horror Story [5]
Cancer (June 22 — July 22)
Cancer signs are not easily intimidated . . . at all. They will never back down from protecting something they love, and you shouldn’t oppose them. Family is really important to them, so they tend to be a little nostalgic and can get a little moody and defensive. You want Cancers to talk to the clerk when you’re exchanging that ugly sweater, but said clerk better not dispute the return policy because . . . watch out. They should watch shows with strong characters that are pretty much the boss of their universe.
- Supergirl
- Nashville
- iZombie
- Daredevil
- The Good Fight
Netflix pick: Friday Night Lights [6]
Leo (July 23 — Aug. 22)
People born under the sign of Leo just naturally give out light (they are the sun sign, after all). They want to lead and be the master of their domain and constantly have ideas about how to improve your life. They are creative and sensitive, but can sometimes be a little bossy. Look for therapists or interior designers that are Leos — they make the best kind. Leos should watch shows with characters that could benefit from their advice and expertise, but that are positive and uplifting nonetheless.
- Jane the Virgin
- Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
- Black-ish [7]
- Transparent
- Better Things
Netflix pick: Jessica Jones [8]
Virgo (Aug. 23 — Sept. 22)
Virgos are a special bunch. They are busy and often frazzled, but that is mostly because they are notorious people pleasers. Perfectionists, worriers, and humble, they make excellent friends, but are extremely tender, so they need quite a bit of handling. They have an uncanny discernment, so if you’re considering getting bangs, call up your favorite Virgo. The best shows for them feature stories about funny, complex people that can’t be summed up easily; they enjoy figuring people out.
- Broad City
- Modern Family
- Mr. Robot
- The Mindy Project
Netflix pick: Sons of Anarchy [9]
Libra (Sept. 23 — Oct. 22)
Libras need their alone time and definitely know how to relax. They are desperately charming, well-mannered, and top marriage material. They are romantic and will take their time to woo the heck out of you, but once they get to the goal, they can be a little lazy. Make a Libra plan your honeymoon. They will enjoy shows that are romantic and wistful, but also shows that feature characters that are just doing them.
- Orange Is the New Black [11]
- The Last Man on Earth
- Reign
- Better Call Saul
- The Vampire Diaries
Netflix pick: Freaks and Geeks [12]
Scorpio (Oct. 23 — Nov. 21)
Scorpios are forces of nature. They can be intense and forceful and have extreme libidos. Their intensity often turns inward and their introverted nature can seem secretive at times. Pick a Scorpio to DJ at your next big event, but don’t be mad when he goes home with one of your single friends. Shows that feature a duplicitous main character are best for them; they want to see somebody who seems calm and collected, but are teeming volcanoes underneath.
- Scandal
- The Crown
- Orphan Black
- The Affair
- Bates Motel
Netflix pick: Breaking Bad [13]
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 — Dec. 21)
Sagittarius folks are all about the practical matters. They have a broad outlook and value freedom to choose for themselves. They are so caring and lively that get a quick grasp of new situations and circumstances. They are a huge hit at parties because they like to entertain, but they can sort out a seating chart, lickety-split. They want shows that feature characters that have a no-nonsense approach to life, but whose humor might be a little dark.
- Silicon Valley
- Shameless
- It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
- Sherlock
- Being Mary Jane
Netflix pick: The Office [14]
Capricorn (Dec. 22 — Jan. 20)
There’s nobody more tenacious than a Capricorn. They will strive until they reach their goal and are a million percent committed to their cause. Because of this, they are really successful, but have a low tolerance for others who don’t give it their all. They do amazing on a ropes course, but maybe shouldn’t be the team leader. They should watch shows with protagonists that never, ever give up and will go through hell to get what they want.
- Atlanta
- Veep
- Ray Donovan
- Making a Murderer [15]
- Arrow
Netflix pick: The Fall [16]
Aquarius (Jan. 21 — Feb. 19)
Aquarius children are rebellious and headstrong, and are their own individuals. They crave extreme emotional control and seem like cool customers. They are understanding, which makes them really great friends and excellent leaders. Vote for Aquarius for president. They should watch shows with mystery and intrigue with characters that are problem solvers.
- Pretty Little Liars [17]
- The Flash
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine
- Supernatural
- How to Get Away With Murder
Netflix pick: Gossip Girl [18]
Pisces (Feb. 20 — March 20)
It’s easy to fall in love with a Pisces. They are gentle and kind and certainly modest. Their positive creative energy reveals an emotional depth, but they can need a lot of encouragement. Maybe you shouldn’t sit next to them in art class; you might end up constantly telling them how talented they are. They are attracted to shows that call upon their empathy and their intuitive nature.
- Portlandia
- The Bachelorette [19]
- Outlander [20]
- Twin Peaks
Netflix pick: Gilmore Girls [21]