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Vampire Diaries Recap "The Five"

The Vampire Diaries "The Five": The Good, the Bad, and the Bloody

We go on two trips on this week's episode of The Vampire Diaries: to college, and to the 12th century in a flashback. The collegiate trip is another step in helping Elena adjust to her new life without becoming a female Ripper, and the blast into the way past comes courtesy of Klaus, who reveals what he knows about the big bad Five.

Even though I love a good Elena/Damon interaction, the more exciting stuff this week is definitely in what Connor the vampire hunter's tattoos can lead the group to. I don't think we're headed to the kind of total game-changer that it implies, but it sure is interesting to think about. Let's get down to talking about that and other specifics in the good, the bad, and the bloody after the jump.

The Good

  • Elena takes a big trip to visit a nearby college so she can learn Damon's patented feeding technique of "snatch, eat, erase." Elena's a little gun-shy to feed, until she gets to a jerk-rich frat party. At the party, Elena lets loose, dancing and biting like a blood-fueled raver. The fun is too much, though, and she has a vampire hangover almost immediately, afraid of what she's becoming.
  • Stefan makes a Fifty Shades of Grey reference when he jokes about Klaus's "red room of pain." I guess it was only a matter of time before worlds collided this way.
  • Elijah is back! Well, in flashback at least. We go into Klaus and Rebekah's history to bone up on The Brotherhood of Five, a group of vampire hunters. Back in the day, Rebekeh fell hard for one of them, Alexander, but he ended up being a pretty lame boyfriend, daggering her and her brothers one night. That was the end of Alexander, because Klaus killed him after his poststabbing nap, and through this, we find out what the weapon was that Alexander had promised to take Rebekah to. Ready for this? A cure for vampirism. Dun dun dun.
  • Before we can even dream of what a vampire cure would mean for each person, Klaus puts together a plan to find it. The tattoos on Connor (the same the original Five sported) are a map, so Klaus forces Jeremy to draw the tattoos, since he's the only person who can see them. Then, Klaus tells Stefan that they just need the sword to decipher the map, and it's up to Stefan to get Rebekah to help find it.
  • Hello, hot new teacher. While visiting the college, Damon, Elena, and Bonnie crash a class taught by an unusually good-looking instructor, Professor Shane, who is one of those cool professors who hangs out with students. He knows a lot about Bonnie's grandma, as well as a thing or two about practical magic. He hints that there are "other ways to practice magic," and it's already obvious that Bonnie is thinking about considering it, though she should really be considering making out with Professor Hottie. Yes, even though he's a baddie helping Connor. She can get over that.
  • I feel bad for Rebekah this week, mostly in regard to her bad luck with men. She buys her crush Matt a new truck, we hear about her backstabbing (literally) ex, and Klaus calls her pathetic, making fun of her history of romances gone sour. She's a regular Carrie Bradshaw, only without the Mr. Big. And what does she get for all that broken-heartedness? Another daggering from Klaus.

The Bad

  • This episode is such an Elijah tease! We only get to see him briefly, and he has a long, homely wig on. Please come back next week, E, preferably suited up.

The Bloody

  • Connor is a dirty fighter — like, Mike Tyson dirty. He bites his vampire guard in the ear, but what he does later is far worse. He silver-severs the head off of him, and in case that's not gnarly enough, he holds the head up like a prize. What is this, Game of Thrones?!

What did you think of this week's episode?

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