This week's episode of The Vampire Diaries is titled "The Killer," and if you've watched, you know that it cleverly means more than one thing. The big bad vampire killer is on the hunt for prey, and he kidnaps three of Mystic Falls' important residents as bait. Meanwhile, Elena continues her big struggle with being a vampire (sigh), and we get even more of what she's going through because she's now writing about it in her diary — yes, the diary that is right in the title of the series and yet (mercilessly) never comes up anymore.
Though Elena's psychosis is a big subject of this week's episode, there are lots of little things we have to address. One character gets a brand-new life plan, one relationship suffers a blow, and, as usual, plenty of gross things happen. Let's get to all the good, the bad, and the bloody after the jump.
- So last week's graphic beheading actually serves a purpose other than to be totally disgusting: you have to remove the head (or heart) from a hybrid to kill one. Connor and Professor
HotnessShane extract werewolf venom to kill all the vampires they can, but Stefan and Klaus want Connor alive so they can find the Big Vampire Cure. As Connor explains to Jeremy, the more he kills, the more the tattoo grows and leads him to "something," which, of course, Stefan and Klaus know is the cure. Connor uses the bait of a group text to lead the gang to the kidnapped April, Jeremy, and Matt, and Stefan and Damon have opposing ideas about how to proceed. When Damon calls him on it, Stefan mercilessly vervains his brother, knocking Damon out of commission.
- How funny is Damon and Elena's conversation about last week's "hot sweaty dance party business"? She's so uncomfortable, but come on, girl; you enjoyed it.
- How much longer will Tyler and Caroline be a thing? Tyler tries to talk a fellow hybrid out of following Klaus's orders, but Klaus brings up his indiscretion with Hayley, and Caroline can totally hear the conversation (uh, dude, your girlfriend's a vampire; she can hear, like, everything). She confronts Tyler about his werewolf piece on the side, and Tyler defends himself. Sure, he denies that he fell for her, but he doesn't deny that he hooked up with her. I see what you did there.
- Bonnie and Professor Shane get to spend some quality time together, which they both pretend is so he can help her start doing magic again. It has nothing to do with the chemistry they already share. He gets her into hypnosis, and since he told Connor that Bonnie was important to what he has planned, I'm hoping he leads her astray into the path of dark magic.
- Elena shows some fierceness in her faceoff with Connor, poised to do anything for Jeremy, because protecting him is the only thing keeping her sane. She's great: she bites him, he stabs her, but she gets the best of him and kills him. There goes your cure, honey. I'm pleased, though, because it would be so annoying if we endured all this Elena-transitioning nonsense just to see her restored to a human.
- Oh, dude, Jeremy has the mark, you guys! This is totally like Buffy, the Vampire Slayer: when one slayer dies, another is born. Cool new job for Jeremy (as long as, you know, you're not a vampire in Mystic Falls), but you know the rule: the more vampires he kills, the more the mark will grow and lead to the pesky cure.
- The diary is back. It's one of the few elements I disliked about the first season, and now that it's back, it's not any better. Elena is already whining enough out loud about being a vampire; now we have to hear it via her journal? "I'm a vampire and I hate it!" Compelling stuff. Oh, and Stefan has one too.
- Stefan has been predicting the guilt trip of a lifetime if Elena kills a person, and now that she's killed someone, I take issue with her feeling so bad about Connor, because she did it to protect Jeremy, not because she lost control while feeding. She would have wanted to kill him if she were human, if it meant protecting Jeremy. She just has the strength to do it now. Wipe those tears, and also that blood on your mouth.
- Damon asks a very tough relationship question: would Stefan love Elena more if she were human again? I don't even care what he says, because it leads to Damon giving us the least romantic declaration of love: "I'm fine with her either way." Uh, cool.
- Tyler's hybrid friend Dane suffers the goriest fate this week. Falling prey to a booby trap, he gets covered in shrapnel and his heart shot out. I'm glad Connor is dead, because things got more yucky and creative once he showed up.
What did you think of this week's episode?