The 8 Best Jokes From Chris Rock's Scathing Oscars Monologue

With the huge controversy around the racial makeup of this year's Oscar nominees, you had to know host Chris Rock would be making some topical jokes during his monologue. He took to the stage and his opening remarks were essentially all about the lack of black nominees, with some nice jabs at Kevin Hart and Jada Pinkett Smith. He walked a fine line, but he kept it classy while still getting in some very poignant quips. Take a look!


"How come it's only unemployed people who tell you to quit something?" — On people telling him to quit his hosting gig after the #OscarsSoWhite controversy

Getty | Jeff Vespa

"The last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart. . . . Kevin makes movies fast. Porno stars don't make movies that fast." — On why he didn't quit

Getty | Kevin Winter

"Rocky takes place in a world where white athletes are as good as black athletes. So Rocky is a science-fiction movie." — On the most unbelievable part of Rocky

Getty | Jason LaVeris

"Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties. I wasn't invited!" — On Jada Pinkett Smith boycotting the Oscars

Getty | Will Ragozzino

"Robert De Niro has never said, 'I better slow this acting down so Meryl can catch up.'" — On why it doesn't make sense that actor and actress categories are separate

Getty | Kevin Winter

"Otherwise known as the White People's Choice Awards." — On the show's alternate title

Getty | Kevin Winter

"If they nominated hosts, I wouldn't even get this job. You'd be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now." — Speaking the actual truth

Getty | Pablo Cuadra

"It's also not fair that Will was paid $20 million for Wild Wild West." — On the people complaining about Smith not getting nominated for Concussion