The Craziest Excuses Moms Have Used to Sneak in Some Alone Time

“One afternoon, we were due to visit friends for a barbecue and drinks. I wasn’t feeling very sociable, so I faked a migraine but insisted that my husband go and take the boys with him so that I could ‘rest in a dark room.’ When I heard the garage door close, I watched as they drove down the street, then immediately dragged the duvet off the bed and onto the sofa. I spent all afternoon watching shows back to back and eating my hidden stash of treats!” — Carol Green

“I start a game of hide and seek. Of course they are terrible hiders, which makes it tough to pretend that I can’t find them. I can clearly see them hiding under the blanket on the sofa because their legs are completely uncovered, so I usually walk into the kitchen, pour myself a coffee or a wine (depending on whether it’s before or after noon), log on to my laptop, and periodically half-heartedly yell, ‘I can’t find you!” and ignore their giggly replies, like, ‘I’m right here! On the red sofa in the living room! Under the blanket!’ (Seriously, who taught this kid to play hide and seek?) Eventually, they get frustrated and come find me, but by then I’ve had at least three and a half glorious minutes to myself.” — Edie Fleshwood Mann

“I'll start this by saying how much I love my kids. They have taught me what love is and filled my life with meaning beyond measure. However, there have been sacrifices, namely my life as I once knew it, me as the person I used to be, and the body I used to live in. You know, just small adjustments! So I don’t feel bad that I once told my husband that I was too sick to come on a camping trip he had organised and spent two days by myself, which included booking myself into a spa for a facial. It was bliss. I did admit the truth later, to my husband (not my son — he would never have forgiven me). Free time is rare, so make the most out of every situation that presents itself I say!” — Katy Miller

“Rory was a few months old, and I was deep in new baby cabin fever as I was still on maternity leave and couldn’t even go to the bathroom without him. I phoned my mom and explained that I had a dental appointment for a filling, and asked if she would be able to take him for a few hours that week. She picked him up on the Thursday and took him to her place. However, the dentist had actually cancelled the day before. So off they went, then I swiftly put my feet up, pajamas on, and I stayed that way all day eating chocolate and watching TV. Pure bliss! Until, that is, I realised I would have to pick him up and pretend that my mouth was numb!” — Laura McArthur

“After having two kids, it was obvious that my social butterfly, jet-setting days (I used to be a vacation rep) were over. I was studying for my degree while working and caring for my two little cherubs. To make escape even more difficult, my husband was working abroad. So getting out to 'study' on my own as much as possible was really my secret ‘me’ time. At first, I didn't venture far for fear of being called back by whichever family member was helping out. I’d go to the library to study, then fit in a little swim and sauna, plus some shopping on the way home. It's amazing the guilt you first feel for venturing out without your minis. Soon, I was meeting friends for lunch and treating my weary self to a facial or massage — anything to restore some element of premommy normality. Now, a few years later, I have passed my degree and added another to the family bunch. But I am studying for another qualification; I study mostly at night and keep the truth about my ‘study’ days under wraps!” — Susan Hoppe

“I must remain anonymous because I am still working this scheme. My husband and I were invited to a friend of mine’s out-of-town wedding. The invitation was for the entire family, but I told him it was only for the two of us and that since getting a sitter for our three children for the entire weekend was impossible, I’d take it on the chin, go to the wedding, and represent us both. I’m almost positive he didn’t want to go that badly anyway!” — Anonymous