The mere definition of twins implies togetherness, unity, closeness. And society loves to love Twins — Double Your Fun, Two Peas In A Pod, Two for the Price of One.
Consider this: If you are with someone from the moment of conception, it's hard to imagine not being with that person. My boy-girl twins will always be together, I thought as I patted my belly during my pregnancy. They will always have each other — an instant best friend, buddy, advocate and of course, class-mate. Times Two.
Or so I thought...
When my twins were tiny and far, far away from school age, I clipped an article from The New York Times about separating twins in school. To be honest, I turned my nose down at the article. Those twins might be separated, but not my J and M. I had proof to back this up: the moms in my Twins Group kept their children in the classroom and they did activities as a pair. These children were happy and well-adjusted and they seemed to feel safer in new situations. I was proud of this twin perk and felt like it was a real gift.
When my twins started struggling in their same pre-K class, I never even thought about splitting them up until their wise, incredible teacher Miss Peggy set up a meeting with me to talk about Kindergarten. I resisted, and I relied on the twin moms who felt the same way I did to back up my case.
So, you can imagine their collective surprise when one month before the summer, I switched sides. Of course, I met with tons of resistance, a few snide remarks, and disbelief from a few family members. I dug deep though and found a calm place and then explained to everyone who asked, Why would you ever split up twins?, that though I had felt the same way, in the end our decision as parents was to do the very best thing for our two children.
Eventually, the flurry of questions and comments subsided and I've never looked back. Placing our two very different twins in their own classrooms has yielded so much. I still feel surprised by this decision, but I know now that sometime the toughest decisions are the best ones. And, that all those articles I clip and save will come in handy one day!
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