View this post on Instagram[1]
The Vampire Diaries star, Claire Holt, has suffered a miscarriage [3]. Despite admitting she was nervous to share the news publicly, Holt posted a photo to Instagram outlining the heartbreaking details to encourage anyone else who has been through this type of loss to reach out to others for support and to know that they're not alone.
"I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat," she shared in the caption of a photo of herself giving the thumbs up to the camera, despite being in the hospital waiting for her dilation and curettage surgery [4]. "I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was OK. I wasn't. I've never felt more broken in my life. . . After my D & C, I spent hours on the internet searching for women who had been through it. I was desperate to find someone, anyone, who could relate to what I was feeling. Someone to tell me that the depression and hopelessness were normal. That it wasn't my fault. That I wasn't broken forever."
Holt ended up finding a community of women online who seemed to collectively share her "exact" experience [6]. Their being open and honest about their own losses made Holt wonder why miscarriages aren't more openly discussed and pushed her to share her own story.
It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves. Why is it any different than the death of a loved one? How is it any less meaningful? Here is what I have learned as I begin to crawl out of the dark hole: support is everything. I could not have survived this without the unconditional love of my partner. Despite his pain, he was my rock and my safety net. I will never know how to thank him. I also found that opening up to people is crucial. As soon as I told my story, almost everyone I spoke to told me theirs - their own, their wife's, their sister's. So many people go through it and understand the breadth of pain, yet so few people talk about it.
The actress ended her post with a message for anyone who's experienced miscarriage themselves: "To anyone out there who has been through a miscarriage, I understand you. I share every bit of your pain and you are not alone. Please be kind to yourself and I hope that you will be comfortable sharing your story too."