Have you read Emily Rapp's Notes From a Dragon Mom in the New York Times yet? It’s a truly inspiring story about a mom who is losing her child to Tay-Sachs disease. This heartbreaking story shares a tremendous, and truthful gift about life with all who read it.
On Circle of Moms, members are coping with the same heartbreaking situation. Jennifer D. writes of her own toddler, also dying of a rare terminal illness, “I just wish I could keep him forever! Does it ever gets any easier?"
How does a parent whose heart is breaking and bleeding on the floor find a gift inside of a tragedy? That’s the beauty of what Dragon Mom shares in her essay. She says her only saving grace, in this moment, is learning to live in the now with her child.
Living in the NOW.
Those words struck me like a thunderbolt and have caused me to focus on nothing else all week long. Living in the NOW is so important when raising children that I wanted to share my thoughts with you.
A Trip Down Memory Lane
Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone, for one hour, one day, one week remained focused in the now?
I can imagine you must be thinking, I’m an idealist and a fool! The pace of life won’t let me live in the now! I have to be at work, I have to leave the house on time!
I know you do, so do I. So how would living in the now work?
Living in the now is a state of mind. Shifting from living in what’s about to happen to living in the now may not change the pace of your life, but it will change how you feel about the pace of your life, thus transforming how you feel inside.
Living in the now is the magic key of life that takes you go from rushed and harried to calm and more peaceful.
Take a walk down memory lane with me for a moment.
Do you remember the moment your child was placed in your arms for the first time? When everything in life seemed suspended and there was no time, that moment seemed to go on forever?
Do you remember how you wanted to hold on to that moment and never let go?
Do you remember the peace and calm you felt deep inside of you?
Do you remember the love? That’s living in the now.
Children live in the now all day long. That’s why when we rush them they don’t want to cooperate.
That’s why when they see a bird and begin chasing it, and you say, “We have to go right now” they fall apart.
They’re devastated that they have to stop chasing the bird. They can’t imagine that the bird will ever come back, because they only see that the bird is here — right now.
Children Live in The Present
Children only experience the right-here and right-now. They tend to fall to pieces when they have to stop doing what’s consuming them in the now.
As the photo that accompanies this article says, “When you’re rushing to the next moment, what happens to the moment you are in?” You’ve missed it! You may be okay with that, but children have no capacity to understand why they can’t enjoy the now.
Living in the now is where the treasures of life are.
Living in the now is where all the answers to our problems are.
The moment we begin to rationalize and feel like we “should” do something, we fall out of the now. That’s when things get complicated, rushed, filled with stress, pressure and anger.
The most profound and beautiful thing we experience by living in the now…is love. The more you can take it one-moment-at-a-time and simply focus on the task at hand, by remaining really, really present, the more love you’ll be able to take in.
The Dragon Mom, this sweet mother and her blessed child have blessed us all with her words and reminded us that nothing is forever. She reminds us that every moment is precious, and every moment, no matter what we’re doing, should have our full focus. May we all learn from her and learn to take a moment, as often as we can, to live in the now.
Sharon Silver is the author of Stop Reacting and Start Responding: 108 Ways to Discipline Consciously and Become the Parent You Want to Be, and the founder of Proactive Parenting. Her book and site help parents gain more patience by responding instead of reacting as they deal with the whirlwind of emotions created by raising kids ages 1-10. Find her on Twitter and Facebook.
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.