8 Ways You and Your Parents Can Actually Become Friends in the New Year

Updated on 12/30/2019 at 10:40 AM

Pexels | Kevin Delvecchio

No matter how much of a self-sufficient adult you've become, your parents might still see you as a child. It doesn't matter how many bills you pay, how much you're succeeding in your career, or how independent you've become. To them, you're still their baby who needs to hear their sometimes unwelcome opinions and constructive criticism. When you want to form a friendship with your parents in adulthood, the road to get there isn't always easy.

If you're feeling exasperated, I totally get it. Even though I have a great relationship with my mom and dad now, we've certainly had plenty of rough patches. At the end of the day, you just want your parents' approval and a loving connection with them. So, why is it so complicated? Well, it doesn't always have to be. There are several things you can do to deepen your bond with your parents in the new year. Keep reading for eight ways you can make your relationship more positive, and if you're already in a good place, even closer!

Explore Interests That You Have In Common

Even if it feels like you and your parents are way too different to connect, chances are that you have a lot more in common than you think. Find ways to bond over things you both enjoy. If it's difficult to find common ground, perhaps you can make a point to take interest in something they love and ask them to do the same for you in return.

Remember That It's OK to Disagree

Just because you and your parents have very different viewpoints doesn't mean you can't get along. Instead of feeling defensive or irritated when a disagreement arises, try to accept that it's OK to have contrasting opinions. Fighting to prove your point isn't always the answer.

Don't Search For Their Constant Approval

Making your parents proud is an amazing feeling. However, there's no way you'll be able to constantly please your parents while still remaining true to yourself. In order to have a healthy relationship, try to accept that they might not always agree with your decisions, and that's OK.

Make Fun and Exciting Plans With Them

What better way to forge an awesome relationship with your parents than to create amazing memories with them? Make sure you make superexciting plans with your parents, such as going to an amusement park or the beach. You'll walk away with stories you can talk about for many years to come.

Accept Your Parents For Who They Are

Your parents can't change you anymore than you can change them. If you want your parents to respect the adult you've become, it's vital that you respect who they are in return. Try to remember that your parents aren't just your parents. They're people who have hopes, dreams, joys, and sadness of their own.

Avoid Rehashing Past Issues With Them

You've been through a lot with your parents, and chances are you share some painful memories with them. If it's been a long time and you've all come a long way, it would be wise not to constantly rehash the past. Try to establish a setting where you can all let the past go and look forward to a better future.

Learn When to Protect Your Energy and Take a Break

Of course, having a perfect relationship with your parents is nearly impossible. When the going gets rough, sometimes the best course of action is to establish some personal space. Respecting each other's boundaries and limitations is key to having a smooth relationship. Conflict is best resolved after everyone has calmed down and taken time to think about what went wrong, so don't feel bad or guilty about taking time away when you need it.

Recognize Everything They've Done For You

Your parents probably made a lot of sacrifices while raising you, and it's always good to recognize them and let them know that you appreciate everything they've done for you. If you can step back and remember all the love you have for each other and that they always want what's best for you, you can build a really positive foundation in your relationship in adulthood.