Hang on to your Spanx, ladies, we're headed into the tween years. My daughter just turned 9 and things are, er, changing. Suddenly I'm really annoying. And stupid. And mean. Well, not all the time. Sometimes my daughter still adores me. Sometimes she still cuddles up in my lap and tells me she loves me. Sometimes I'm still the best. But the moments when she thinks I'm the most irritating person on the planet are growing by the day.
So what are my crimes, you ask? Oh, they are many. They are terrible. They are life-destroying. Here are 10 ways I managed to ruin my tween's life in one single day. Yes, I'm that bad.
- I looked at her.
- I spoke to her.
- I told her she looked pretty.
- I didn't tell her she looked pretty.
- I only put one banana in her smoothie and everyone knows she likes TWO BANANAS IN HER SMOOTHIE!
- I hugged her.
- I hugged her brother longer.
- I forgot to wash her black leggings forcing her to commit a major fashion faux pas and wear NAVY WITH BLACK!
- I said her drawing was great. But not with an excited enough voice.
- I existed.