Recently, I was writing at my corner Starbucks (aka my office) when I saw a woman breastfeeding. I suddenly had a minor panic attack thinking I had forgotten to feed my daughter, Maeve. My breath caught in my throat and my hands immediately went to my boobs, checking to see if I was overfull. Yes, I felt myself up in a Starbucks, I am classy like that.
Then, I remembered I hadn’t breastfed 18-month-old Maeve in more than five months. My blood pressure returned to normal and I immediately Tweeted about my stupidity. Because that’s how I roll. If I do something stupid, I take it to the masses.
But it made me stop and realize that for the first summer in six years, I am not pregnant or breastfeeding. And that blew my mind. Six years! That’s what happens when you space your kids two years apart and breastfeed them for a year: you lose more than half a decade of summers.
On the plus side, all my old summer clothes are in fantastic shape because I was either too pregnant or too postpartumly fat to fit into them. But on the minus, none of them fit me anymore because I am a full two sizes smaller than I was before I got pregnant for the first time. Oh, I know, woe is me. I’m too skinny for my old clothes. Go ahead and tell me to stick a bagel in my piehole.
And while we are done, done and DONE with having children (see: liveblogging my husband’s vasectomy for laughs), I still get a few pangs of regret every once in awhile. I think about the kicks I won’t feel again, the pricey Citizens of Humanity maternity jeans gathering dust in my closet and the 36DD boobs I (and my husband) will miss for the rest of my life. And every time I see a mom breastfeeding, I swear I feel the tingle of a letdown. But then I remember serving as a 24-hour breastaurant and the pumping after feeds to have a freezer stash and the Dr. Jack Newman All-Purpose Nipple Ointment I kept stashed in several places in the house and diaper bag in case of a chafing emergency. And that reminds me that I am so happy to have that part of my mothering career behind me.
Well, except for the centerfold boobs. Those were awesome.
Currently trying to make it through summer vacation without losing any of her three children or her mind, Snarky Mommy has only been half-successful. You guess which half. You can follow her parenting adventures on her blog, SnarkyMommy.com, Twitter and Facebook.
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.