We've all heard the sentiment before, and we may have even said it ourselves: "Wishing you a happy and healthy baby!" or "We don't mind if we have a boy or girl, as long as my baby's healthy!"
Michelle Elman, a UK-based body confidence blogger wants everyone to stop saying it altogether. Because when it comes to every parents' dream of a happy and healthy baby, "that's unfortunately not what my parents got," she wrote in an Instagram post.
"Instead they got a child that needed 15 surgeries to reach adulthood," she continued. "They got a baby that had a condition that threatens her life and lowers her life expectancy. And that used to break my heart."
Every time Michelle heard someone say that phrase, it'd make her wonder if her parents were disappointed when she was born.
Although she recognizes that her parents are "amazing," each time she was hospitalized, she'd "see the pain their eyes and wonder if their life would be easier without me."
They wouldn't have had such a burden.
I wouldn't have caused all this pain to see me in pain.
I wouldn't have caused all the anxiety every time I got ill.
Every time I went into surgery, I used to worry how they would spend the time waiting and how much stress they must be under.All this was a heavy weight for a child and I kept all of it to myself.
I didn't talk about any of this because I refused to add to their problems by talking about my problems.No, my parents didn't get "happy and healthy."
But they definitely got happy.
Enough happy to overcompensate for the lack of healthy.
And enough wisdom to know there is nothing to compensate for.