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Not Teaching Your Kids to Share

Mom's Viral Post About Not Requiring Her Child to Share Will Make You Think

If Alanya Kolberg's child doesn't want to share his toy, he doesn't have to, and his mom isn't going to discipline him for turning another child down. This Missouri mom is firm on her position that her kid shouldn't always be required to share and didn't hesitate to explain the reasoning behind her controversial position after a recent encounter at the park.

For anyone who finds her stance confusing, Alanya wrote very clearly on Facebook, "My child is not required to share with yours." She explained that when she and Carson walked to the park, at least six boys came over all demanding that he share his Transformer, Minecraft figure, and truck. "He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them," she wrote. "He looked at me. 'You can tell them no, Carson,' I said."

Alanya reassured her child that he didn't need to feel pressured to say anything else. When the other kids ran off to tattle on him to their parents, Alanya told them that he answered their question and that if he wants to share, he will. Although that response resulted in other parents giving her dirty looks, Alanya is fine with that and has a message for these parents — and any others who don't agree with her parenting.

"Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.

So really, while you're giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his three toys away to six strangers, or the six strangers demanding to be given something that doesn't belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?

The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don't know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included. . . .

The next time your snowflake runs to you, upset that another child isn't sharing, please remember that we don't live in a world where it's conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I'm not going to teach my kid that that's the way it works."

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