My kids have never been small. Both born at more than eight pounds and quickly climbing, they've always hovered at the top of the height and weight charts (sometimes venturing off the top of them). The doctors were never concerned about either of their weights because they had the height to match, and I wasn't because, well, they are children and I knew that, like their father and I both did, they'd eventually grow out of any chubby phase.

I was comforted that my daughter's varied and adventurous eating habits put her firmly in the category of healthy; however, my son is a different animal (literally, this week he's pretending to be a dog) who prefers to live on corn dogs and grilled cheese alone [1] (vegetables be damned, even if I try to sneak them in [2]), and frankly, all that butter and cheese is turning him into a major chunk. He's currently 37 inches tall and weighs 50 pounds, and while his rolls are adorable, I'm not sure they're entirely good for him, and it's on me to address it.

However, while keeping him healthy is my main goal, it is equally important to me that both of my kids maintain a positive self-image and always realize that their value is far greater than any number on a scale. So I'm currently embarking on a low-key diet plan that I'm hoping will lower my kid's BMI while not lowering his self-esteem. If you're dealing with a similar issue, here's how you can try to help your overweight child without giving them a food or body-image complex.

1. Talk to your doctor, not your child. Studies have shown that talking to your kids about their weight problem can have a negative effect [3], putting a stigma on them that can lead to more weight gain and decreased quality of life. Instead, talk to your doctor about whether you should be concerned and to get suggestions about what you can do to help.
2. Start with small changes. If you have a picky eater [4] on your hands, start by introducing small dietary changes. Make a healthy-foods-before-treats rule. If your kid is a juice addict, try cutting it with water or try switching to water entirely. Lower the fat content of the milk you buy from whole to two percent if your doctor approves. Switch from white to whole grain breads. If your child balks, you can always claim you're out of his preferred food, then conveniently forget to restock it. Eventually, he'll come around.
3. Clean out your kitchen and pantry. A house that's stocked with high-fat and high-sugar snacks makes those foods much too easy to consume for your child. Take responsibility for your part in the problem and clean house, replacing junk food with healthier but still kid-friendly options. You don't have to turn your kid into a gluten-free vegan, but those Cheetos aren't helping anyone.
4. Make it a family initiative, not an individual one. Instead of putting all the responsibility on your child to make lifestyle changes, take it on as a family. Get more active by adding more exercise to your lives. Cook more meals together instead of eating fast or processed food. Make a chart that tracks each family member's healthy food and water intake and daily activity level. Your child will benefit, and the rest of your family will, too.