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What It's Like to Join "Team Infertility"

What It's Like to Join "Team Infertility"

What It's Like to Join "Team Infertility"

The Husband and I had been trying to conceive the baby who is now our daughter for a few months when we found ourselves packing and moving and in the midst of three real estate transactions. We were pretty sure there was no way a month with that much craziness would be The Month. "No way" just celebrated her third birthday. 

After the fog of the first year lifted, we were ready to do it all over again. We did what comes naturally and waited. And waited. And waited. The months came and went. Surely next month would be The Month. But it wasn't. After a year, we called in the specialists. Invasive testing and painful procedures followed, but no joy. I wish I had called in the big guns earlier. I don't know if it would have made a difference, but at least I wouldn't have something else to blame on... myself. 


The diagnosis? Secondary infertility, a condition most people have never heard of until they're going through it. There is nothing "wrong" with us per se, we're just old. So after expensive drug therapy and a round of IUI (intrauterine insemination), we did it! Our long-awaited second child was on the way. We were so excited. It was so much work, but so worth the effort! And then the miscarriage happened. The physical pain was nothing compared to the heartache. I gave myself time to grieve and we have worked our nerve up to try again in the coming weeks.


I don't have any words of wisdom for others riding this emotional rollercoaster. Team Infertility is one that nobody wants to join. I wish I could tell you that everything will be okay, you’ll get ‘em next time. The last thing people dealing with infertility need to hear is yet another platitude. There's really not much to love about the process of getting pregnant when forces beyond your control are working against you. 

Our second child will require a lot more effort getting here than our first. But I will tell you what keeps us going along this long, hard road. We know if the second child brings us even half as much joy as the first does, it will all be worth it.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

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