Bedtime is a constant struggle. With three kids, someone always wants to fight the nighttime routine. I asked my 5-year-old, "Why do you hate going to bed?" His reply, "You get to stay up all night long and play and have fun." It made me wonder what kids actually think parents do once they are fast asleep.

What Kids Think We Do When They Go to Bed

• Finger-paint.
• Play with Play-Doh.
• Watch Scooby-Doo.
• Throw glitter around the house with reckless abandon.
• Wrestle alligators.
• Play dress up.
• Eat candy.
• Fly kites.
• Build forts.
• Blow bubbles.
• Eat cake.
• Have sword fights.
• Hunt for dragons.
• Drink chocolate milk with swirly straws.
• Play with each and every one of their toys.

What We ACTUALLY Do When They Go to Bed

• Clean up stains and messes on the floors from the kids' finger-painting.
• Pick up flaky, dried pieces of Play-Doh.
• Watch grown-up TV shows with curse words in them.
• Curse when we find piles of glitter in the couch.
• "Wrestle" with Daddy.
• Eat candy.
• Pick out kite string that is wrapped and tangled in vacuum cleaner.
• Fold 27 blankets that were used while the kids built forts.
• Do dishes.
• Eat cake.
• Daddy tries to have a "sword fight " with mommy.
• Hunt for missing sneakers and lost items from the day.
• Drink alcohol with a swirly straw.
• Pick up each and every one of their toys.

I wish my evenings were more like what my kids think they are like, and less what they are actually like. However, someone has to be the grown-up.