Nothing beats having kids and sacrificing your needs and wishes to see them happy and successful — most of the time.
Sometimes, you just want to hang out with your friends or check your Instagram feed without being climbed on, so you tell little white lies to yourself and convince everyone that you're doing things for your kid's benefit . . . when in reality, you're doing them completely for yourself.
We won't tell your kids about these 17 little secrets if you promise not to tell ours. Deal?
- You tell your child that they can play on your phone as a treat, which seems generous of you, but really you just need a moment of peace to close your eyes and regroup.
- You tell your kids that they can only have ice cream on "special occasions," but then make it seem like you're the coolest mom ever when you have it on "regular nights," because you just want a scoop every now and then.
- You sign your 2-year-old up for soccer so that he can "learn the sport and make friends," but you really just want to socialize with your other mom friends for an hour without your kids.
- You say you're making grilled cheeses for the kids, when really, you're having a craving for those gooey Kraft Singles cheese slices.
- You convince your family and friends that baby yoga will do your kiddo wonders (it probably will?), but you're doing it to get some guilt-free chill-out time and some bonus exercise.
- You buy your ever-growing baby expensive clothes because you say you want them to have a few quality pieces, but really, who can turn down that opportune Instagram post of their child in tiny little Uggs?!
- You say you want to try and make healthy food for your kids, but if you need a Chips Ahoy! to make yourself feel a little better, damn straight you're buying them "for the kids!"
- You tell the shelter that you're adopting a puppy because your kids keep begging and they've been so well behaved, but you've been waiting for them to be old enough to handle it because you need someone in the house who won't talk back to you.
- You sign up for mommy-and-me classes so your baby can be exposed to music and instruments, but you really just want to get out of the house for an hour a week.
- You say you want your child to befriend the smart/sporty/creative kid in class, but really, you just want a reason to hang out with their cool mom.
- You say you chose the younger, less experienced nanny over the other candidates because she seemed like the best choice, but really you need someone you can shamelessly talk reality TV with.
- You say you're throwing your 1-year-old a birthday so they'll have photos to look back on, but you really just want to flex your "new-mom Pinterest muscles."
- You say you want your kid to watch The Lion King because it's a Disney classic and they need to be educated, but really, you just want to feel some nostalgia.
- You say that the kids can have 10 more minutes of TV time because they're being "really good," but you would have given them the time regardless because you're so close to beating your high score on Candy Crush.
- You say you're taking your child to their first concert because their report card was so wonderful, but you honestly just need an excuse to see One Direction perform live.
- You say that your child's favorite restaurant is closed, but you honestly cannot sit through another meal at that place if you want to stay sane.
- Basically anything you do with your child that warrants any type of photo opportunity is just because you want to put it up on Facebook and show your friends how amazing/stylish/talented/adorable your baby is.