This Mom’s Class Valentines Saga Will Make You Nod Until Your Head Falls Off
Ahh, holidays. So much to love about each one, yet so much to stress about, as every single holiday comes with its "thing." You know, the thing that means putting in effort and spending money simply because the calendar and retailers tell you to. For one mom, she admits she has the best of intentions about three weeks out of every holiday, and this year, Valentine's Day was no different. Despite her late-January plan to create epic personalized valentines for each of her child's classmates, life happened for Eliza Morrill, and before she knew it, Valentine's Day was upon us all.
"SCENE: It's the night before Valentine's Day. What do I have to show for it? Literally nothing," Eliza wrote on her Facebook page, Momstrosity. "I jet to the dollar store, where I buy some hodge-podge, mismatched Valentines to distribute in the morning. What is this cartoon character? I have literally no idea. . . Excuse me . . . is that . . . GRUMPY CAT?! He does modeling now? That'll do. I grab four packs. Wait, how many kids are in the class? Whatever, I'm committed . . . I get home. Time to address them. WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES!?"
After Facebook stalking class parents to find out their kids' names, Eliza was left to guess the rest.
"Do I spell Sarah with or WITHOUT an "h"? Am I supposed to sign my kid's name, or no? Should my kid be able to write their name legibly by now? MY PEN IS OUT OF INK. Where are the pens!? I find a marker. It barely writes. WHO LEFT THE TOP OFF THE MARKERS? This is why I could never homeschool. I am SO unorganized. At this point, my resolve is dwindling. Then! I see it! A half-eaten crayon hanging from the baby's mouth. A-HA! So sorry, Sara(h)? Your name is in half pen and half soggy crayon. I am doing my best here. Valentines done. BOOM."
And just when it seemed like she had it all under control and was ready to rock Valentine's Day at her toddler's school, she remembered the angel, "deserve-a-Porsche-and-not-a-card" teachers, who she had absolutely nothing planned for. "Tulips are a no-go. The store is closed and that ship has sailed. I have some oregano in the garden, but that's weird and I don't want to look like a drug dealer. Do they have Venmo, I wonder? What's the school's policy on alcohol? I mean, for teachers — duh . . . I settle on a hand-written note and chocolate, because honestly, mama can't afford to get suspended from preschool."
Preach, mama. Here's hoping that her valentines go over well, and that Sara(h) isn't a stickler about the spelling of her name.