15 Tips For Staying Intimate as Parents When You're Too Tired For Sex

Updated on 6/26/2018 at 2:16 PM

One of the hardest transitions a couple makes is into parenting (and the lack of sleep that comes along with it). When you're feeling so fatigued and emotionally drained while caring for your kid or kids, it's not unusual for the intimacy in your relationship to slide down your list of priorities. While it's easy to think the phase is temporary, the reality is, as long as you're a mom, you're going to be tired until the kids leave the house (and probably even still after that). You and your partner will make time for sex, but for the times you're just not into it but still want to stay connected, there are many things you can do to make sure your relationship stays solid. Keep reading for 15 tips for staying intimate, even when you're both bone-tired.

Surprise Your Partner With Lingerie

Give your partner a little visual surprise before you settle down in your sweats. It will bring fire and excitement and a promise of a future rendezvous, while still letting you both relax on the couch for the night.

Turn Your Phones on Silent After 8 p.m.

As long as your kids aren't somewhere and you need to keep your phone on, turn them on silent after 8 p.m. You don't need to check Facebook, Instagram, or work emails when you can instead spend an hour of one-on-one time with your spouse.

Write Each Other Little Notes to Start the Day

This can be a great way to connect if you get ready and leave the house at different times in the morning. You can share something sexy, something you love about that person, or something you're looking forward to. It's quick and easy and can go such a long way in showing them you care.

Take It Outside

Take your morning coffee and the conversation outside while the kids play in the yard or living room. A change of scenery and fresh air, even if it's a bit brisk out, can really relax the two of you.

Remind Each Other Why You Got Married

Was it your partner's smile or their cooking skills that first made you weak in the knees? Remind each other why you think the other is awesome each day. Going back to the beginning can fuel passion in the future.

Take Weekend Getaways When You Can

If you can't get away for a weekend, try a day trip! Being adventurous together will make you connect in new and exciting ways. This will strengthen your relationship and, in turn, benefit your kids, so don't feel guilty for taking time away.

Kiss More

Remember how exciting your first kiss was? While you've probably had thousands of kisses since then, try kissing a certain number of times each day, each time lasting a little bit longer. Hell, you can even make out like teenagers on the couch again! How much fun did that used to be?!

Get in a Quick Massage

Giving each other short massages can really help you relax and unwind from a stressful day. Just touching each other reminds you both of the connection you have.

Try Not to Sleep After the Kids Go to Bed

Sit on the couch together, but turn off the cell phones and TV. Have a few drinks or cups of coffee and just . . . talk. Asking each other about your days can inspire hours of conversation and laughter.

Have a Day Date

While the kids are in school or with a sitter, meet for lunch. Take two different cars if you're home together, and don't talk about the kids at all. Pretend you just met. Ask questions you haven't asked before. Role play a little!

Cook Together

Teaming up in the kitchen will probably make you laugh, chat about old memories, and might even inspire you to get a little more intimate. Constantly brushing up against each other while cooking can be a fun and exciting way to wake you up a little!

Make Sweet Treats For Your Sweetie

Why not bake or bring home something extra sweet for your partner? It will show them you care, and you can enjoy it together.

Have a Little Photo Shoot

If you're feeling a little awkward about getting intimate again after having kids, this could be a really fun way to break the ice. Whether it's in the bedroom or just funny photos around the house, it will make the stresses of everyday life fall away.

Get Dressed Up

Even if you're just going to your local movie theater, wear that new dress you just bought. Or if you're having a girls' night out, let your partner see you before you leave.

Play Games Together

And play hard! A little healthy competition will relax the two of you and get you to be silly., even if it's board games at home. Just leave the kids out of the fun!