10 Reasons Play Dates Are Actually the Worst

As soon as your child is school-aged, it's like a bell goes off to welcome you to the hell that is kid play dates. And we're not talking sitting around with your best mom friends and letting your kids who know each other well go wild — those are great. Navigating the art of organizing, planning, hosting, and surviving a play date with other parents and their kids, however, is an absolute minefield. No matter how little you think could go wrong when you put three 5-year-olds in a room with toys and snacks, well, spoiler alert: it's just not that simple.

Read through for 10 reasons play dates are actually the worst.

  1. You have to engage in forced interaction with parents you barely know.
    Who will likely awkwardly tell you your child is doing something "wrong" or will just go ahead and discipline your kid for you.
  2. If it's a drop-off play date, you're in for hours of running around after three kids who don't belong to you.
    You're outnumbered . . . not much you can do there.
  3. Your house — no matter its previous state — gets destroyed until it's basically unrecognizable.
    Like something out of an episode of The Walking Dead.
  4. No matter how many toys your playroom holds, all of the kids will fight over the same tiny toy.
    They're never interested in something until someone else picks it up.
  5. Every kid will want their own snack — until they collectively decide they all want what another kid has.
    Now everything is opened and has grubby kid germs on it, though, you're not above finishing said snacks off when it comes down to it.
  6. No matter what time you settle on for pickup, the other moms never come on time.
    Now your whole night routine gets pushed back, including the Netflix binge you had planned for yourself.
  7. You attempt to figure out a way to discipline a kid that isn't yours when they do something obnoxious (which will happen).
    And will likely get an earful from their mom about it when the kid tattles on you.
  8. If you've told your child about a play date and it gets canceled, you're so screwed.
    Let the tantrum ensue (they probably spent all day asking you when it was time to play with their friend, too, just to add insult to injury).
  9. You will cross play date paths with a mom who brings a long list of all of the things her child "can't" do, play, or eat while at your house.
    Cool, so he can do nothing fun, meaning your kid can do nothing fun.
  10. Even if it's a play date with fun parent friends, the kids won't let you and the other moms be.
    You all want sit and eat the kid snacks in peace but they're too busy screaming "Mom!" — and that's just the biggest damn upset of the century.