13 Struggles Only a TV-Obsessed Mom Can Understand
It's one thing to be a TV junkie, but it's quite another to be a TV junkie who has to somehow raise well-adjusted children between commercial breaks. If your family is getting in the way of your Netflix queue, you aren't alone. There are plenty of us moms out there who are simply more naturally inclined to sit on the couch for 14 hours a day with a singular focus of binge-watching the latest season of Orange Is the New Black or House of Cards. But because we can't do that without having child protective services at our door, we're often forced to suppress our addiction . . . that is, until bedtime.
Below, the most frustrating parenting struggles to which any television-obsessed mom can relate.
You inevitably always see spoilers for pivotal episodes you haven’t gotten to yet.
You’ve resorted to forcibly repressing certain facts in the hopes you won’t remember it by the time you get to that point in the series.
You. Can’t. Binge. Watch. Anything. Anymore.
For moms, bingeing is two, maybe three, episodes a night. If you’re lucky.
You desperately want to talk about a crazy season-ending cliffhanger months after it aired.
Yet no one wants to tweet about what happened to Walter White anymore.
When you can’t keep up with your TV viewing schedule, it’s Sophie’s Choice having to pick what you'll continue watching.
You convince yourself that shows like Modern Family and Parenthood are educational.
Because aren’t they?
You don’t find out about hot new shows until they’ve been on for close to two full seasons.
What’s this Broad City you speak of?
You set an alarm to watch TV when the rest of the family is sleeping.
It’s the only time you never seem to need to hit the snooze button.
You consider watching Gilmore Girls reruns to be a monumental bonding opportunity for you and your daughter.
Why actually speak to each other when Lorelai and Rory can do it so much better . . . and faster?
You’ve hid your iPad behind a book so you set the right example when your kids are playing nearby.
You've also learned to follow along to complex story lines at the lowest volume setting.
You compare your family to TV families.
We promise: yours isn't nearly as messed up as the Bluths.
You’ve begun resenting your husband for wanting to actually talk to you after the kids’ bedtime.
Which just so happens to be primetime.
You don’t remember much about your days spent nursing because you were Netflixing the whole time.
Um, "breastflixing" is a socially acceptable thing, you guys.
You’ve faked at least one sick day so you could catch up on a show.
There's only one greater feeling than finishing a series – and (sorry, kids) that's picking the next one.