Mother's Day Is the Worst — Why I Choose to Celebrate ALL Women
I celebrate all women.
Whether you have decided to become a mother, are trying to conceive, were not able to have a baby for whatever heartbreaking reason, lost your baby, lost your mom, don't want kids, adopted, have not met your love, are not feeling the love, are in transition, or are feeling stuck. Whether you are a mom or not, on Mother's Day, I celebrate you.
Mother's Day is intended to be a special day to celebrate being a mom and to celebrate your own mom, or a mother in your life. But what many can forget on Mother's Day is that for those not being celebrated or not having a mother to celebrate, this day can be pretty damn tough.
I'm a mom. It is something I chose and was lucky enough to have been given that gift. But I am not quite sure Mother's Day is a holiday worth keeping, for lots of reasons.
My own personal reason: shouldn't I be celebrated every day since I work my ass off all the time? Bring me flowers today; don't wait. But there are a bunch of other reasons, maybe not personal to me, that make Mother's Day the worst.
A great many women are unable to conceive. Seeing cards, flowers, people making plans, and sharing posts about being a mom can be a painful reminder of what they have been wishing for with all their might. I can't imagine how hard that must be. If this is you, a woman giving her all towards this dream, trying with every hope, I celebrate you.
For women who just lost their mother, or maybe lost their mother years ago but continue to miss her, Mother's Day is just a crappy reminder of the void left behind. For women who have lost children and are wondering how the hell to move forward, this day is nothing to celebrate. I am in awe of the strength and courage of people going through a loss like this. The ones who manage to smile when they find a great memory or shed tears on their pillow wishing for more time. For those of you out there, feeling this great sense of loss and trying to live your daily life, I celebrate you.
For those in transition or who have already gone through the struggles of change, for those who are feeling stuck, who feel they were born in the wrong body, or for those feeling empowered for their new life yet still waiting for our world to catch up, this day may bring up emotions and confusions. Perhaps you are a transgender woman wishing you could carry a baby, or maybe you are a transgender man trying to conceive. Maybe neither of these are true for you but you feel conflicted with the idea of motherhood. Whatever issues this day brings up for you, I stand with you and I celebrate you.
Now, don't get me wrong, I think mothers should be celebrated, but moreover, I think WOMEN should be celebrated. Women are strong, resilient, beautiful, and powerful. Women have put up with a lot of crap for a very long time and continue to do so. Women are our present and our future. Women nurture and women get it done. I celebrate you.