Some slogans are painfully cheesy and some are downright brilliant. Guess which category this Dogeared Canvas Bag ($23) fits into? Ding, ding, ding. We've all seen our fair share of canvas totes — hello, I'm Not a Plastic Bag — but this one takes the cake. "Your plastic bag can kiss my canvas." Canv(ass), get it? Carrying this bag will not only make you look caring, but comical as well. Plus, imagine how many new friends it'll help you make.