She's on to us. Gwyneth Paltrow [1] has revealed the list for her annual gift guide, and there are plenty of things that we can't help but just sigh and say [2], "Oh, Gwyneth!" Like . . . a condom dispenser; yeah, that's in there. There's also a "conscious uncoupling" keytag, a cheeky shout-out to Gwyneth's divorce catchphrase [3].
Still, it's Gwyneth's "sorry not sorry" attitude that makes the annual Goop guide so fun [4]! Read on for eight of this year's wildest fashion picks, along with our personal choices for captions.
Venessa Arizaga Shaka Cuff Links
What the caption says: "Ha!"
What it should say: "To remind people you're really a surfer underneath that suit."
Shop it: Venessa Arizaga Shaka Cuff Links [5] ($195)
NLST Cashmere Sweater Set
What the caption says: "Sure you can wear these separately . . . but why would you want to?"
What it should say: "Netflix and chill will suddenly feel super fancy."
Shop it: NLST Cashmere Sweater Set [6] ($995)
The Row Stilton T-Shirt
What the caption says: "The essential not-so-plain white tee."
What it should say: "The expensive white tee that's still just a white tee."
Shop it: The Row Stilton T-Shirt [7] ($280)
Brigette Romanek Personalized Hoop Earrings
What the caption says: "Like the door-knockers of our youth, but better."
What it should say: "Now this is a statement earring."
Shop it: Brigette Romanek Personalized Hoop Earrings [8] ($1,050)
Live the Process Corset Unitard
What the caption says: "It's officially for working out, but just as great for lounging on the couch."
What it should say: "For people who never have to go to the bathroom."
Shop it: Live the Process Corset Unitard [9] ($260)
Saint Laurent Monogram Luggage
What the caption says: "How to please the frequent flyer in your life."
What it should say: "Luggage that costs more than everything you put inside."
Shop it: Saint Laurent Monogram Luggage [10] ($3,990)
Various Projects Conciously Uncoupled Keytag
What the caption says: "Wear your heart on your sleeve."
What it should say: "For when you're separated from your keys."
Shop it: Various Projects Consciously Uncoupled Keytag [11] ($15)
Smythson Jewelry Box
What the caption says: "Your own personal treasure chest."
What it should say: "A great way to store the jewelry you can no longer afford."
Shop it: Smythson Jewelry Box [12] ($1,295)