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would you like flies with that shake?

Paris_fly >> Dear Paris (I wish you were burning) Hilton,

You know the first thing came to mind when I saw you like this?  Surpisingly enough, it wasn't "That's hot."  It was more like, "Wow, somebody went a little overboard with the big sunglasses."  Now we all know that I'm a proponent of the big sunglasses look, but Jesus, woman, those just make you look  like a fly.  In fact, the resemblance is so uncanny, I'm lead to believe that it might be a manifestation of your inner being.  You know that book by Kafka, The Metamorphosis?  Oh wait, I forget... "novels" just don't quite make the socialite's summer reading list.  Let me break it down for you: I wouldn't be surprised if sometime soon you woke up and weren't so Barbie-like.  Instead you were more... how do I say... fly-like (Ew!).  I mean, you already have the big bug-eyed thing going on.  You know, once the transformation is complete, I bet Paris Latsis won't be so keen onFlyface sharing his bajillions with his giant, hairy, bug-eyed fiancee (not that he was to begin with).  But I'll give you one thing -- it would be one hell of a publicity stunt, since that does seem like what you're after these days.  It's really too bad you won't be able to talk about it to the press with all those feelers in the way.  And trust me, the pity is sincere.  But if anyone could pull off the girl-gone-buggy with class, it would be you.  You could even make another one of those B-rated movies you're so good at -- a flygirl superhero is perfect fodder.  And better yet, Rick Salomon might even be up for "Another Night in Paris" when he sees the new improvements.

Now that's hot,


**sources: BM Galleries,

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