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Does Being Around Heavier People Give You Confidence?

It's tough not to compare ourselves to others when it comes to our weight and appearance. Some of you have already shared that seeing gorgeously toned and slender (and most likely photoshopped) models in magazine ads makes you feel bad about yourself. And one reader even said a skinny friend made her feel self-conscious. This made me wonder, if being around thin people makes you self-conscious about your appearance, does being around heavier people make you feel better?

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itsallabouttheg itsallabouttheg 7 years
although i'm not at an ideal weight, i think i'm more self conscious about my height with respect to other women.
snarkypants snarkypants 7 years
i am the most attractive person in the world, so everything boosts my ego.
Zulkey Zulkey 7 years
pretty sad that so many people on this blog which is dedicated to health let other people's appearances so affect how they feel about themselves. I shouldn't take it for granted that the only person who really contributes to how I feel about me is me.
WarEagleNurse WarEagleNurse 7 years
Spectra Spectra 7 years
Hmm...well, when I was fat and single, I think people liked having me around as the "designated fat chick" who wasn't a threat to them. But when I lost weight and got thinner, my friends started to get kind of catty. It never mattered to me; I don't care what size my friends and coworkers are.
Wild-Magelet Wild-Magelet 7 years
Yes, it does give me more confidence, but not so much in a "Yes! I'm the thinnest one here!" sort of way (although that can still be a novelty at times, after years of being the heaviest in the class and my group of friends, I have to admit!), but more in a "this is what normal people look like" sort of way. When you've suffered from an eating disorder, you become so wrapped up in such an insular world of suffering and body distortion that it's always such a breath of fresh air to be out among lots of people and to see that everyone is different shapes and sizes, and to get more inspiration from seeing people happy and healthy regardless of appearance.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 7 years
For me, it's not so much about weight. But if I'm around someone who looks like they spent 5 hours in the bathroom, getting ready, I always feel self conscious and wonder if I maybe missed a spot when I shaved my legs and things like that.
mtiger mtiger 7 years
My friends and I all used to be around the same size, like a 12. I lost weight, and now I'm a 6. They always make comments about me losing weight, but it's not an uplifting, nice comment. I think it's more said with jealousy. I don't nkow.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
No, it makes no difference to me. I draw my self-confidence from MYSELF (hence, the word SELF-confidence), not from others.
amber512 amber512 7 years
I agree with onlysourcherry. That's how I basically look at it. Although I don't think I have ever been the prettiest girl in the room!
LeiraElle LeiraElle 7 years
I (also) used to weigh about 240lbs. But I never felt like my size gave my friends an ego boost. That seems a little absurd to assume people liked having me around for their own self-esteem. That said, I actually don't like being around people bigger than me because I feel bad! I feel bad that I'm no longer one of them, and while I can sympathize with feeling like the biggest person in the room, I could never tell them "Oh, its okay, I used to be big, too... but now I'm not." How condescending. Hmm... that doesn't answer the question. No, I don't feel prettier or thinner around people who are uglier or heavier.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 7 years
I'd say that there is a big difference between actively choosing to hang out with bigger people for a self esteem boost and the little boost you get from incidentally the attention of being the prettiest girl in the room.
imLissy imLissy 7 years
when I was bigger, I cared and preferred being around bigger people. Now I don't care, but I'm pretty sure my friends like me less.
Angelcool1236 Angelcool1236 7 years
Nope not at all. I have a size 0 wiast so I've always been 1 of the skinnest people around. So every1(well most people I know) is pretty much bigger than me lol
lady-T lady-T 7 years
i've always been the tallest of my group of friends over the years so naturally i weigh more than them and i appear bigger than them...i am actually perfect weight to height proportional but i still sometimes feel like the big giant lady.. ive been trying to accept that i can never be like them...skinny and short... :)
guavajelly guavajelly 7 years
I think my friends feel better with having me fat. I'm losing weight now and hardly have any support from them so I decided to get online support and support from my mom. My "friends" keep telling me not to lose weight and that a good goal weight for me is 170lbs when they know I want to weigh 120-130 lbs. The funny thing is they are all 100-130lbs slim, tiny, and thin. I get really annoyed with their insecurities, but don't know how to deal with them. For me I know I feel both insecure and inspired around slim girls/women because it makes me want to eat healthier and workout more. It makes me see that I must always take care of my body and health!
akay akay 7 years
I think we all start to emulate those whom we spend the most time with, so I prefer to spend my time with people who are active and healthy in body and mind. Frankly, there's something very controlling, obsessive, and self-indulgent about the attitude that you must feel physically superior to those around you. It's the same as putting someone down to make yourself feel better, only it's all happening in your head.
ckeller825 ckeller825 7 years
So strange. My mom and I have these "arguments" about this. She says she'd rather be around people who were uglier/more overweight than she is because it would make her feel better/prettier (and she's neither ugly nor overweight). I would rather be around prettier/thinner people because it makes me feel better/prettier. Is that bizarre?
le-romantique le-romantique 7 years
I see it as motivation. I'm not like LOVING it, it doesn't make me feel better, it just helps me keeping up what I'm doing. The majority (or all) of my female friends are tall and skinny, I was blessed being 5'4" with curves-unlike them, and I love how I look, so the skinny thing doesn't get to me either. But if I'm in kick boxing, at the gym or something, and I see a heavier person it just motivates me to work harder.
100lbsandcountin 100lbsandcountin 7 years
to add to my above comment, maybe feeling like they wanted me around because my fattness made them feel better was all in my head?? I suppose then yes, at that weight, being around the thinner girls made me feel self-conscious afterall! hmm
100lbsandcountin 100lbsandcountin 7 years
This is a good question that I can relate to because I used to weigh 250lbs and was almost certain that some of my friends liked having me around because it made them feel better about themselves. Now that I've lost a lot of weight, I wouldn't necessarily say that my bigger friends make ME feel better, I'm more concerned about seeing where that person is/how they feel about themself and if I could offer them him/her help. But you can only help people who want to be helped and have decided to help themselves first. THEY have to make that decision so if I feel he/she isn't at that point I won't even bother.
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