If you've taken an indoor cycling class, you're probably familiar with the types of instructors. The drill sergeant, the preacher, the best friend (looking good, Sam!) — we've seen them all. Hilarious Mindy Kaling shared her own criteria on li.st [1] for "My Dream Spin Class Instructor," and it's spot on. We've included our five favorites ahead — if you come across an instructor who meets Mindy's needs, let us know ASAP.

• "Will not ask us to interact with the people next to us: No high fives, no saying 'I'm proud of you.', no turning up their resistance for them."
• "Will tell us about their lives but not very much: I like knowing you were a little hungover this morning. I don't like knowing you had problematic parents."
• "Will not call me out by name in the positive or the affirmative: I'm a ghost, I want to flit around in sweaty anonymity."
• "Will keep to the times she or he announces: If you say '10 seconds left' and then it's like 40, I'm literally so betrayed and pissed I cannot speak."
• "Not spend a ton of time feting a rider with a birthday: We all have birthdays! I'm not riding for Susan on her 27th birthday! I don't care!"