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Speak Up: Rude Comments About Your Weight?

I have a close friend who has gradually put on weight over the past year. It's not a huge deal, but pretty out of character since she's always been an active and fit person. With a crazy work schedule and stress, she's been eating more and hardly exercising, so she's gained about 30 pounds. We were shopping the other day and ran into an acquaintance we hadn't seen in almost a year. The woman said something you never say to a fellow female unless you know for sure. She asked, "Are you pregnant?" My friend was devastated and quietly answered, "No, I just haven't been taking care of myself." The woman wasn't trying to be mean, but it was really hurtful. On a positive note, the eye-opening comment really inspired my friend to get back into the gym.

So I'm wondering, has anyone ever made a negative comment about your weight or appearance? What rude remarks about how you've gained weight or look too thin? If so, how did you handle it? Share your stories in the comment section below.


hawleykenmark hawleykenmark 5 years
My husband's friend would say things about my weight. At first, I jokingly reminded him of his fat stomach. I thought he would have caught the hint, but he didn't. Later on, he made another funny about my weight. By then I was irritated and I plainly said to him, "Why does my weight bother you so much? I'm not your wife, you need not worry about my weight, just your own." To this day he doesn't speak, but that has become my standard response to comments on my weight. "Don't worry about my weight; worry about your own."
starspray starspray 8 years
Okay so maybe i haven't had many people comment on my weight (outside my family that is) but maybe I'm just able to brush it off better, and probably if someone said something rude (like have you gained weight?) i would just consider things from several angles and take it as a cue to eat healthier or something. Also like i should give a d*mn what they think. I'm a swimmer and i love to climb and do weights and eat healthy yet i have really big arms and muscly thighs and my bro is always teasing me about my arms. It kinda hurts (because we're pretty close) especially since he's the 'skinny' type but i usually take it as constructive criticism that makes me work harder, and also that he's simply 'jealous' that i put on muscle faster. When it comes to other people's 'weight issues' though i keep my mouth shut. I really don't like offending people or getting into embarrassing positions.
MaggieLei MaggieLei 9 years
I actually did it to myself once. I met a friend that I hadn't seen in a couple of years and made a fuss because she looked like she had lost weight. I realized later that I had actually gained enough that she looked smaller to me. It was okay though. I had been way too thin.
marie-lee marie-lee 9 years
My grandmother notices every kg I put on or loose, and I am in a healthy weight range, she is not. My weight tends to fluctuate throughout the course of a month a fair bit all by itself and I live close enough to a couple of times a month but not regularly. She comments on my weight every time I see her.
Jabbadoo Jabbadoo 9 years
Oosh, well this post has hit a nerve hasn't it? People are so crass, personally at any insensitive, crass, nosy annoying comment I employ the Ann Landers response.. NO MATTER WHAT THEY'VE SAID this works. After they make a comment about WHATEVER or asked a personal nosy question... simply PAUSE (for a tad bit more than anyone feels comfortable with) look them in the eye and just say "Why every would you ask me/say that?" and then PAUSE while looking at them again. And then move on to something else. Oooh that flusters and shuts most people up, while politely drawing attention to their lack of manners. On the topic of rude weight comments.. my top one is "You have such a pretty face!" (yes I am overweight, so that just screams "oh you have such a pretty face, even though you are fat". And really, no matter who might deny it, that IS what they passive aggressively meant. So silly, the only body parts I specifically comment on are the eyes, smile, toes and fingernails and hair... anything else points out areas lacking elsewhere.
Allytta Allytta 9 years
Lo Lo, i lose 5lbs everytime I take a dumb... so come on, don't be stupid.
Allytta Allytta 9 years
my grandma and grandpa stil say something... i havethe same weight for about 3 years now and everytime they see me it's like "oh, you've gained weight". but i love them a lot, so just brush it off... my parents tease me but it's ok, they;re both overweight aswell, but not obese. and they so my overweight coming when i was 16 and they were telling me to stop when i was stuffing my face, they said i'd be sorry and blame them for not doing anything when i grow up. so now i'm grown up and i realise they did try to help me, now it's my fault and i feel ok with it :) 18lbs overweight is not the end of the world. i still can dress in Bershka. so it's all good. trying to lose it though, but guys love me anyway, they seem to be attracted to be inspite of my weight so i figured as long as i'm happy it's fine. and now i'm back in the 24 BMI so no harm to the health there...
death-by-chocolat death-by-chocolat 9 years
When I was in highschool I went to an amusement park with a group of friends. I got sick and was holding everyone's bags while they rode without me. One of the ride operators leaned out of her box while I was waiting for my friends and was like "aw hunny, you're pregnant?" I was so shocked (being 5'4 and 125lbs and SIXTEEN), I just said "Uhm, no." and turned away from her. I was too embarrassed to tell my friends what happened when they got off the ride!
Spectra Spectra 9 years
Here's my theory on the whole "Are you pregnant/when are you due?" comment: Nobody who says that really means it for real; they are just telling you that they think you're fat. I mean, come ON. Unless you're obviously showing and have a huge baby belly going on, no one's going to even guess you're pregnant unless you tell them. So if some random person looks at you and asks "When are you due?", they probably just know it'll get a rise out of you. I get rather annoyed at people who tell me "You'll never get pregnant, you don't weigh enough" or "If you don't eat more, you'll have babies with birth defects". Betcha if I gained 5 lbs, people would ask if I was pregnant, lol. I'm just going to say to them "No, not pregnant, I'm just fatter".
Sugasuga29 Sugasuga29 9 years
My grandmother is 86 years old, and she has an eating disorder. I am 5'8" and wear a size 4. But every time I see my grandmother, she projects her disorder onto me, saying things like "You really shouldn't wear horizontal stripes--they make you look even bigger", and "Are you sure you should eat a second helping?" She truly sees me as too big, while she starves herself daily.
hlj504 hlj504 9 years
I've lost some weight recently, but it makes me very uncomfortable when people comment on it because I lost it mostly due to stress from going through a divorce. I have been exercising more recently because it's a good stress-reliever, but I still just don't like having it brought up by other people.
karebear karebear 9 years
About 5 years ago I had a really bad experience at the doctor's office. When I went to the doctor for a check up, I had gained about 7 pounds from the previous year. Mind you, I was still well within a healthy weight for my height and by no means overweight. My doctor, and older gentleman, was VERY concerned about my weight gain proceeded to give me a lecture about how I need to watch my weight and that "obesity is an epidemic". This completely freaked me out. I thought that he was calling me fat and I started to feel bad about myself. I soon got over it and chalked it up to him being an idiot, but it made me understand why people in our society are so sensitive about their weight. I hope he doesn't start telling those things to younger girls and they start developing eating disorders because of it!
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I have had both scenarios I remember distinctly when I was about 21 and had gained wieght ( i am 5'2 and at the time was about 175 pounds) and my great aunt came to visit and she soon as she sees me "Oh my is that you? you have gained some wieght havent you?" and i said "thanks i didnt realize" and spent the next 5 days starving myself out of sheer pain. My parents then divorced when i was 22 and I was in an abusive relationship so i became bulimic. Which i still deal with to this day 13 years later So I am not 125 pounds, and I get the "you need to eat more" statements, or "how are you so skinny?" to which i usually say "13 years of eating disorders" and walk away.
austerity austerity 9 years
cestmoi21 ~ glad someone understands :) but you know, you should really be confident about your height. I know exactly how difficult it is, because people just treat you like a giant and especially as a girl, it makes you feel awkward. But once you know how to work it with your height, there's really nothing better! Most girls I know that are relatively short would love to have a few more inches (though there's nothing wrong with being short either). The tall comments are annoying, but just ignore those people as they obviously have a lack of manners. I usually act like i didn't hear it. Learn to make something good out of the looks you get; walk regally and with confidence (as if you're used to everyone looking at you because you're simply that cool ;) ), and height is something that will draw admiration. If you just try to practice that each time you walk in public, slowly but surely, you will learn the confidence. Remember that when you're looking good, our height only magnifies that and makes us look even better. It's a privilege that we are noticed automatically, so we have to put that to good use. I wear flats most of the time too but mainly because of comfort; if you feel happy with heels, wear them, because we're going to get the tall comments even without them, so why not wear what you want? Good luck...and remember there's a reason Gisele, Karolina Kurkova, Elle MacPherson etc etc are 5'11"/ 6'0"! :)
Smilesp Smilesp 9 years
A few years ago a friend and I were at the beach and she looked at me and said "I'm surprised you're not skinnier since all you drink is water". I was so shocked that she said that because I'm a totally normal weight and because she was a friend! And geez, haven't people learned not to ask women if they're pregnant?? Customers at my workplace do this regularly to a few employees who aren't pregnant. It's so rude and even if they are pregnant, what business is it of strangers?
cestmoi21 cestmoi21 9 years
austerity--i'm 6 feet tall, too and i also hate the "your really tall" comments. no sh*t. i have lots of pretty shoes that make me taller and it makes me self-conscious to wear them :(
syako syako 9 years
The end of my sophomore year in college I had a random cashier at Wal Mart ask if I was pregnant (she, mind you, was a very LARGE woman). I spent the night crying on the phone with my friend because I was out of town. I'm with everyone else on this one, in what way are you raised to think it's OK to ask someone if they're pregnant??? Anyway, about 6 months later I opened my eyes and finally accepted the fact that I had gained about 25-30 pounds in college (all mostly in the tummy), and within a year or so I had lost it all and I'm now in the best shape of my life.
Amethyst Amethyst 9 years
I wonder why some people think it's acceptable to comment on another person's weight. It rude, mean-spirited and classless. I have been told or asked a number of times about my weight. Depending on my mood determines how I respond. One time someone said to me I got fat so I said "yes, I got fat, but I can always lose weight. You're ugly, and you can't lose ugly!" Another famous answer of mine is, "yes, I got fat, but not as fat as you." My weight fluctuates and I don't think it's anyone's business why I gain or lose, nor should I or anyone feel that they have to answer to the rude idiots who comment on your weight. I take martial arts and get a lot of injuries so often I am out 4 to 6 months and can't exercise and whatever I lose creeps right back to me. Not that I owe an explanation to these rude people I know. Think of a good remark to stop them in their tracks and they will shut up. ;)
stephaniegee stephaniegee 9 years
While away for a weekend ( a stressful weekend of seeing distant reatives and PMSing) with my BF, he called me "Chunky chunk." Now, he meant it in an endearing way, but i FREAKED out. I've lost 50 lbs in the last few years and at that moment, being reminded that I was still fat was NOT COOL. Now, we joke about my reaction, and he still calls me chunk-chunk from time to time, but once I realized there was no meanness behind it, I didn't mind.
deanna024 deanna024 9 years
My opinion: people make comments about women's weights because they know that is the one thing that will get to us -- overweight, skinny, whatever. They could comment about hair or clothes. But seriously, isn't your body shape/size the worst thing someone can comment on? In many cases, I don't even think relatives are that serious when they tell thin people "your butt looks big, etc." They just want to get a rise out of you. Same for those who are overweight -- it's the easiest and quickest put-down. Just three words: "You look fat." But words don't have the power -- you do. And maybe next time, tell that uncle or the guy on the street, "Congratulations" and ask when he's due ;)
Beaner Beaner 9 years
I was about 30 pounds heavier 8 years ago, and I was with my boyfriend at the time in a CVS. A woman came up to me - a total stranger - and she asked, "Oh, when are you due?" I looked at her and said sternly, "I'm not.!" My boyfriend overheard and came over to me and hugged me. It was really sweet but I was crying inside. I knew I was a little overweight, but I didn't think anyone else knew! Thanks to that stranger, it kicked my butt into gear and I lost that 30 pounds.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
Oh God, that's terrible! I used to get tons of "you're too skinny, you look sick" comments (I was underweight and had an eating disorder) - I thought they were nuts, there's no way I could be skinny. Now I understand... But at my ex's brother's wedding a couple years back, I'd gained some needed weight from that and was embarrassed about it. My ex's drunk father told me I'd gained a lot of weight but that I looked better that way. I cried later that night - I was so ashamed and hurt over it. I never liked him after that.
Lo-Lo291303 Lo-Lo291303 9 years
I've probably put on about five pounds or so in the last year, and I WISH someone would make a rude comment about my weight already! I feel like it would give me some incentive to be more conscious of what I eat. All my family and friends (boyfriend included), tell me how amazing I look with the extra weight and how I look "healthy"! I feel like they're sugarcoating the truth or something. Sometimes I wish my boyfriend would be like "No, don't have dessert" when we go out for meals. Instead he indulges me and that contributes to the problem!
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