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What's It Like to Have a Food Addiction?

Amanda Talks Openly About How Weight-Loss Surgery Didn't Cure Her Food Addiction

At her heaviest, Amanda says she weighed 330 pounds. She was depressed, in pain, and deep into her food addiction. Now she's 180 pounds, excited about life, and much happier since she's winning that battle. But she hasn't completely overcome it. Amanda recalls her addiction to food starting at a young age. She says, "I remember being a child and sneaking foods when no one was looking. I would hide food in my room and eat in shame. I would spend all day thinking about food, eat even when I wasn't hungry, and eat past the point of full until it hurt... then I'd eat some more — all while in an almost "blackout" trance."

Her food addiction played a huge role in why she reached 330 pounds at age 20. She made the decision to have weight-loss surgery to help save her life, and says, "I thought the addiction would go away. But it didn't." She hits the gym five to six times a week, eats small portions of healthy foods, but she admits that, "I still struggle every single day. Even after WLS, losing 150lbs, having skin removal, and all of this hard work — I still fight against my own brain. I STILL sneak food at night, give in to my 'trigger foods', and some days I lose control."

If you've never battled an eating disorder like food addiction, Amanda shares, "you might not understand the frustration of your mind sabotaging your every effort." She wants you to know that even though you feel alone and ashamed, other people are going through this, too, and they understand. "As long as you're fighting to be better — even if some days or weeks or MONTHS you just give in — YOU ARE STILL AMAZING AND STRONG. You may not win every battle, but you can win the war."

If you or a loved one are in need of any help with food addiction, the Overeaters Anonymous website has several resources.

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