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You Asked: I'm Too Skinny Now?!

You Asked: I'm Too Skinny Now?!

You're asking and I'm answering . . .

"Hey Fit! I've got a problem. I've really been working hard to lose some weight and my good friend recently sat me down to tell me she thinks I am too skinny now. I exercise four times a week and eat healthy... not starving myself or anything but just eating at home more and not Taco Bell and Wendy's. I just don't want everyone to think I'm just not eating now. I am not sure how to handle it."
- Hurt Hailey

To see my answer just


That is frustrating. If you've been working your booty off, figuratively and literally, an unsupportive comment can be a real buzz kill. Unfortunately it's most likely that your unsupportive pal is jealous, but she could also be genuinely concerned if you've dropped weight rapidly. Despite her reasoning, as long as you've been doing everything the best and healthiest you could (i.e. working out and eating right, rather than starving yourself), don't let her bring you down — simply thank her for being concerned for you, remind her of all the hard work you've been doing, and explain how great you feel now. If she persists, invite her with you to the gym and a healthy lunch, so she can see exactly how hard you've been working.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Please share your stories below, I'd love to hear how you dealt with the situation.


Join The Conversation
carhornsinapril carhornsinapril 9 years
i've had this happen to me many times before. i'm tall and naturally thin, but i do work hard to maintain a lean, muscular physique, rather than just be a bag of bones. the negative attention usually from the overweight/insecure women in my life, so i chalk it up to jealousy. as long as you feel healthy and your doctor has no complaints, screw 'em.
thelorax thelorax 9 years
I feel you girl!! I just got married 2 months ago, and bought an old fixer house last month. Everyone told me, "prepare to gain 20 lbs" but instead I've lost about 10 just from running around between my very demanding job and my apartment and my new house and learning how to be a wife on the fly - it's tough! I was thin to begin with so 10 pounds was noticeable, but I am far from unhealthy. On the contrary, I take pains to take care of myself despite my busy schedule. Nonetheless, I was cornered in the elevator by my (female and overweight) boss and two coworkers who said that I was getting too skinny and if I was trying to lose weight I needed to stop. My husband caught me frowning at myself, standing in front of the mirror in my underwear later that evening, and came up and hugged me and told me I was beautiful. I haven't worried about it since. As long as YOU know that you are healthy and you are taking care of yourself, these snide comments from your friend are most likely jealousy.
Pwroble Pwroble 9 years
Tresjolie, that is so true about europe. Everytime I go there, I lose about 4-5 kg which is a lot within 2 weeks just because food is heathier there and you walk all the time, I never drive there bc the urban construction is so convenient. That is one thing I really miss not having here. And people are a lot thinner...even though everyone eats white bread and other yummy things.
trésjolie1 trésjolie1 9 years
Living in Europe have given me a great perspective on being skinny, because here I'm skinny but normal. At home absolutely everyone is bigger than me. I will say that it is really difficult to live healthy in the US. Fast food, bad bread, processed food, soda's and Dunkin Doughnuts everywhere. So when you try to eat healthy and exercise even if you don't need to(loose weight), then people look at you like you are an alien. I like feeling strong, and I'm never sick anymore. Yay!
Agymgirl55 Agymgirl55 9 years
I had that happen to me too, when I stareted losing weight, my boss would always try to force bad food on me! Like at our office Christmas party, I had a small slice of pie, I wanted to have enough to be satisfied but not overindulge, and she made me feel awful for not finishing it! She kept saying, dont you like it? you should eat some more. So I just threw it away...crazy
jeickstaedt jeickstaedt 9 years
I hate it when people assume that you are not eating or starving yourself just because you are thin. I am 5'3" and 110 lbs. and I get crap from people all the time. I am 23 now and have always been skinny, it's my genes. I eat really healthy and work out everyday. I just get so mad when people accuse me of being anorexic when I am actually HEALTHY! Like everyone else I think it's just jealousy and insecurity on their part. I am glad to see that I am not the only one that hears this stuff.
Advah Advah 9 years
My grandma says that all the time, but she says it to everybody. :oy:
183days 183days 9 years
I had a similar experience when I lost some weight. I had gotten pretty unhealthy during my last year of college and so I woke up, started exerciseing, and was finally able to cook my own meals so I ate a lot healthier. Friends (some close, some not) asked me if I was being healthy about it (not all at once, but occasionally in individual conversations). I just took it as they were caring about me. As soon as I explained what I had been doing they were more than supportive. But especially those that hadn't seen me in awhile, just wanted to make sure I was ok. I wasn't scary skinny (135lbs and 5'5"), but I had lost significant amounts of weight. Be happy that your friends care enough about you to ask hard questions and reassure them that you are being healthy and you appreciate their concern.
DoctorBunBun DoctorBunBun 9 years
I understand what you're going through! I lost ten pounds in the past few months, simply by cutting back on my alcohol consumption and working out 5 days a week. I've always been thin, enjoying a mostly vegetarian diet, as well. But now I'm super toned, wearing a size 2 instead of a size 4. I've been at this weight before, when I lived in Miami, when I was walking on the beach for an hour every day. In NYC, they're not used to seeing me at this lower weight. I've had a few comments like "Don't you eat?" "You're SOOOO skinny!" I simply respond that I've been taking better care of myself. People are threatened by change, especially other females. Be strong, be true to yourself.
em113 em113 9 years
Pwrobel you should talk to your doctor (if you haven't already) If you're not getting your period your body may be telling you something and your doctor can help you decipher what it is.
ElectroPopTart ElectroPopTart 9 years
Two of my, er, 'round' friends always do this to me. Every time we go out since I've lost about 16 lbs, they are like "Oh, Vishaal is not gonna eat ANYthing cuz he's all skinny now..." I'm like don't HATE ! =P
Hoaxerz Hoaxerz 9 years
If the person really is a good friend, the statement is probably out of concern rather than jealousy (unlike coworkers, who probably are just jealous). Sometimes it takes a friend or family member to make a person realize she has lost perspective. If the concern really is unfounded, i.e. you truly are eating healthfully, thank them for their concern, reassure them you are healthy, and move on. To be honest though, while most Americans are out of shape, I also think that society as a whole has lost sight of what healthy truly is. Living on 1500 calories/day and working out 7 days/week is not healthy.
Pwroble Pwroble 9 years
I have that same problem. friends, my mom don't trust me when I tell them I ate at school, etc. It's true I lost weight, But their main concern is that I also havn't had my period since that time (a year and a half) now I gaint a little (BMI 18 now) but my period is still not coming back.(I don't want to take the pill....bc that would make me gain weight, thats a fact, I know it sounds selfish) is there someone who can relate, give advise or is in asimilar situation???
Choco-cat Choco-cat 9 years
Talk to your doctor. If s/he is not concerned with your exercise routine and diet - then it's most likely your friend is way off and you can ignore her. If your doctor is also concerned, maybe you need to work with her/him or a specialist in regards to your exercise and diet.
sophia_HL sophia_HL 9 years
She's jealous. I had a roommate in college who used to order pizza in the middle of the night and pig out. She gained 20 lbs. in 4 months. I refused to eat with her so she told everyone that I had an eating disorder. Funny how everyone came back to me and said that she was jealous. I would stay away from negative people like this. They will only hold you back.
Kate-Marie Kate-Marie 9 years
I'm kind of in the same boat. I was 5'7 and 140 lbs, now I'm about 117. Originally when I was trying to lose weight my goal was 125, but the weight just kept coming off. Sometimes when people make the "You're so skinny!" comment I'm not sure if I should take it as a compliment anymore. I eat a normal amount though, I exercise, and I feel healthy, so I guess that's what matters.
Spectra Spectra 9 years
When I initially started losing weight, my mom told me I was too skinny when I got down to 140 lbs (I'm 5'3"). I told her I wasn't too thin, and that I was getting healthier. When I got down to about 115 lbs or so, people told me to stop losing weight and that I was getting too skinny. Now, I weigh just around 100 lbs and I really AM too thin, so I'm trying to gain weight to get back to the 115 lbs where my body is happiest.
haleyboo haleyboo 9 years
Jealousy does seems to be the issue at hand! When began a healthier eating regimen and excercise plan I was 160 and 5'6, but now I'm 130 pounds. Needless to say this large weight loss, while done in a healthy manner, attracted a lot of negative flack from my buddies who accused me of having an eating disorder. Since this experiance I've decided that it dosen't really matter what everyone else says as long as I know I'm healthy, fit, and happy!!!
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Yep, but it was jealousy. :oy: This person had gained a lot of weight, and resented that I was still fit and trim. Besides, I recently had a routine medical exam. Per my doctor, my results were "excellent," so I was very healthy. Basically, I told the person I was happy with my weight. Not to sound arrogant, but my body is close to Shakira's, the pop singer. I don't think I'm too thin at all. I have hips and full breasts. That person was full of crap.
mem952 mem952 9 years
i get interrogated about the fact that i go to gym four days a week. i just say "you do realize that everyone is supposed to exercise at least four days a week - it shouldn't be unusual - it's recommended!" plus people (including friends and work colleagues) FREAKED OUT when they found out i kept a food diary - for some reason this was considered particularly odd behavior. all of this despite the fact i'm not even underweight according to my BMI
AMP AMP 9 years
I have a friend who barely ever eats and exercises every single day. I try to drop hints all the time that I know what she's doing: "you should have some chicken, protein is good for you", "sometimes you need a day off of exercising, your body needs to recover", etc. but she refuses to eat more than one meal a day and always says that I worry too much about her and she's fine. She's not (I've known her for over 10 years, been on vacations with her, spent countless whole days with her, etc.) but there's only so much you can do. Maybe your friend is right, maybe she's not, but I'm sure whichever it is, you know the real truth. So if she is right, try not to be that girl... and if she's not, take the time to explain to her what you are doing eating-wise and exercise-wise and tell her that she shouldn't be concerned. But if she keeps bugging you after that, then she's just jealous.
tkylem tkylem 9 years
OMG THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY! People I am supposed to be friends with calling me anorexic and bulemic, which is SO not true!!!! I worked so hard to lose 50lbs. the right way! Thank you for this article! I am so glad to be reading that I'm not the only one experiencing this!!!! I stopped talking to the people who were giving me grief about the issue.. they obviously aren't my friends.
lemuse20 lemuse20 9 years
I can totally relate! My sisterinlaw has been interrogating me lately, like to make sure Im not starving myself, and asking me WHY Im losing weight. I know I can definitely lose some weight, but she almost made me feel weird about it.
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