"Some girl was trying to make me her pink Stanley girl at the gym . . . and I did not let that happen," says creator @majordepressiveepisode in a February TikTok [1] with more than 200,000 likes. Although not explicitly stated, the idea of the "pink Stanley girl" is almost universally understood — you may have even come across one yourself. In essence, it's the person you silently compete with at the gym (presumably someone you think you could beat). The term originally gained traction thanks to a viral video [2] of a man competing against a girl with a pink Stanley water bottle [3] on the StairMaster. "It's been five hours and she won't get off. Help," the creator wrote.
Clearly, pink Stanley girls are not to be underestimated. But people continue to compare themselves anyway. While competing with strangers for hours on the StairMaster feels a little extreme (as does making assumptions based on someone's water bottle), we're not above lifting a little more weight just to keep up with our fellow gym-goers.
That said, is it healthy to compete with others at the gym? And at what point does comparing yourself to pink Stanley girls become less motivating and more toxic? To find out more, we asked a psychotherapist. Read on to see what they had to say about pink Stanley girls, plus some healthier ways to motivate yourself in the gym [4] or during your next workout class [5].
Experts Featured in This Article:
Janet Bayramyan [6], LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist at Road to Wellness [7] therapy.
Is It OK to Have a Pink Stanley Girl?
Many of us have silently competed with others in the gym — but how healthy is that, really? According to psychotherapist Janet Bayramyan, LCSW, it depends. "A little silent competition can be a natural motivator, pushing you to lift heavier, run faster, or stay consistent with your fitness goals," she says. "I sometimes can be in my own silent competition with other gym-goers as I notice how fast someone might be running and I try to keep up or go faster." There comes a point, though, where you go beyond pushing yourself to do your best.
"If competition makes you feel inspired and driven, it can be a useful tool. If it leads to negative feelings of self-criticism, comparison, or gym anxiety, that's when it can become unhealthy," Bayramyan says. One way to assess your own mindset is to ask yourself why you're competing. "Are you using it as fuel to grow? Or are you measuring your worth against someone else?" Bayramyan asks. "If competition starts to make you feel inadequate or resentful, it's time to shift your focus inward."
Can Pink Stanley Girls Motivate You?
"It can when it's framed correctly," Bayramyan says. "Studies show that a bit of social comparison can boost motivation — especially in fitness. Seeing someone else's progress can signal to your brain that improvement is possible for you as well." The proverbial pink Stanley girl may also give you a boost of adrenaline to help push you a little further. But you still need to have some self-compassion.
"If you're constantly feeling like you're falling short, that 'motivation' can backfire into frustration, gym anxiety, or even avoidance," Bayramyan notes. To encourage healthy competition, she recommends the following:
- Using silent competition to challenge yourself, not punish yourself.
- Recognizing that everyone has different starting points, goals, and body types.
- Letting silent competition be one motivator, not the only motivator.
Healthier Ways to Motivate Yourself at the Gym
It's not inherently harmful to compete against the pink Stanley girl at the gym (we're all human, after all). But if you're interested in healthier — and potentially more effective — forms of motivation, Bayramyan recommends steering away from external competition. Here are a few strategies to get you started:
- Compete with yourself: You are your own best competition. "Track your gains, improvements in endurance, or ability to stay consistent," Bayramyan says. "Seeing those small wins builds long-term motivation."
- Set deeper goals: "Focus on strength, endurance, flexibility, or your mental well-being rather than just how you look," Bayramyan advises. This will help you feel more motivated overall.
- Make movement enjoyable: It's easier to stay consistent and feel motivated when you genuinely enjoy your workouts. "This is so important to maintaining your goals and progress in the long run," Bayramyan says. "If the gym feels like a punishment, try new workouts, classes, or music that make it fun."
- Shift your mindset: Maybe you're thinking about the pink Stanley girl all wrong. Instead of "I need to keep up with her," Bayramyan suggests reframing your thinking to "I love how strong I feel when I push myself."
- See exercise as self-care: "Reframe your gym time as time for self-care," Bayramyan says. "Instead of competition, see your workouts as a way to care for your body, de-stress, have fun, and boost confidence."
Chandler Plante [8] (she/her) is an assistant health and fitness editor for PS. She has over four years of professional journalism experience, previously working as an editorial assistant for People magazine and contributing to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group.
