It's impossible to be a first-class chef all the time, or most of the time, or even ever. Time can be scarce, and POPSUGAR editors are just as guilty of emptying a jar of peanut butter [1] one spoonful at a time instead of eating a balanced dinner. If fact, we've eaten some pretty sad meals [2] when left to our own devices. I put out an open call for the most depressing meals our editors have "prepared" for themselves, and the results are so shocking that I've removed all of their names from this list. Here is the definitive ranking of the 20 saddest responses I got — from slightly embarrassing to just downright heartbreaking.
Crescent Roll Pie
"Layer a pie pan with canned Pillsbury Crescent rolls. Add cheese [4] and another layer of crescent rolls. Bake for 15 minutes. Just don't do a calorie count once you've eaten the whole pie."
Pasta of Sorrow
"In college, I wanted to have spaghetti [5] for dinner. I started boiling the noodles and I forgot to check if I had the rest of the ingredients. I was out of pasta sauce and ground beef, so I improvised with a crap ton of ketchup, dinosaur chicken nuggets, and string cheese on top."
World's Saddest Burrito
"Frozen brown rice [6], a can of black beans, and a can of Ro*Tel, all dumped into a bowl and heated in the microwave. Sad burrito in a bowl, I guess?"
Devastating Tuna Noodle Casserole
"Weight Watchers Smart Ones fettuccine alfredo (cooked in the microwave) with canned tuna on top for extra protein. It's like a sad, slightly healthier tuna noodle casserole [7]."
KFC Ramen
"You thought instant ramen [8] was bad, look what the UK did [9]. It's a wonder I'm still alive."
Tragic Dinner Bowl
"Oatmeal [10] (grain) with a fried egg [11] (protein) on top. Ketchup for flavor."
Just Plain Garbage
"Does corn chips, beer, and ice cream [12] count as a dinner?"
"Thai" Noodles
"Drained ramen noodles with chunky peanut butter = Thai noodles [13], right?"
Shameful Ground Beef
"Literally ground beef on a frying pan [14] and ketchup. No sides, no bun, nothing."
Grody Grilled Cheese
"When my oven was broken, I made a grilled cheese [15] on my heater. Literally laid it on top of the heater."
Peanut Butter, Jelly, and Sadness
"A cold tortilla with peanut butter. I didn't have bread or jelly or pride, apparently."
Sardines and Tears
"Vienna sausages or a can of sardines and saltine crackers. I'm pretty sure my grandmother still has this for lunch sometimes."
Melancholy Marshmallows
"I'll eat a handful of marshmallows [16] if I have them on hand."
Rice Cakes of Misery
"Microwaved rice cakes and cheese."
Literally Just Tomatoes
"I often just eat tomatoes [17] for dinner, because I'm lazy if my husband is not home."
Lonely Lima Beans
"A can of lima beans that I poured into a bowl and heated up in the microwave."
Melted. Cheese.
"During college I once (OK, fine — more than once) melted cheese on a plate in the microwave as a meal."
Wine
"Wine [18]. Wine for dinner."
Emergency Cabbage
"My fiancée and I have been trying to eat out less and our mechanism for holding us to that goal results in the saddest meal ever. We have decided to start buying a cabbage [19] every time we go to the grocery store. Then when we're tempted to go out (trying to justify it because we have no food at home), we have to roast the 'emergency cabbage' as punishment for not having enough food at home."
Hopeless Cream Cheese
"I've eaten an entire tub of Philadelphia cream cheese [20], one finger-full at a time. By the end my finger was shriveled like a raisin and I hated myself."