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Buying a House With a Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Buying the House Before the Cow — Yea or Nay?

While the news of Jude Law and Sienna Miller's $12 million London love nest purchase this week wasn't a total surprise — they've been hot and heavy again since last year —  I will say the pair are going about the engagement/marriage/house routine in a bit of a backwards way. For most people, buying a house with a significant other is an ultimate commitment; cosigning your name on a 30-year mortgage is not something to rush into in this economy if you're not truly dedicated. One might even argue that finalizing a divorce is easier than selling your house these days.

The trouble is that if you separate, one of you will wind up paying a mortgage on a house you're not even living in. That's the case with Charlize Theron and ex-boyfriend Stuart Townsend: after they split up, Townsend was living in their co-owned Malibu beachfront property, which they wound up trying to rent out for the tune of $30k/month. I'm guessing they didn't have much luck there, considering that property is now on the market for $7.5 million.

Those who can afford a hefty mortgage, like celebrities, might consider buying a house with a significant other just as an investment or a business transaction. But for the rest of us, who spend a majority of our paychecks on housing, having a ring on your finger before you start playing house offers a little more insurance against winding up in Theron and Townsend's situation. What are your thoughts on buying the house before the cow?

Image Source: Getty
French-Kiss French-Kiss 6 years
Well i wouldn't tell my opinion as if the other side was full of stupid people, but i'm with Starbucks and everyone that's not against the idea of the house. Well, for sure it depends on how you build your relationship. But, as i don't think marriage is the most important thing in my life, since i wanna move in with my boyfriend before marrying (i didn't say anyboyfriend though) i fond it's not a bad idea. If you spend money renting a house, this money is lost anyway, why not purchaising ? However, i think it's something you need to take seriously (i think about cruches or 6months relations as Brit and Kev), i'd do so after considering my boyfriend the right guy whith whom i wanna spend my life with. As other said, after few years it's not something stupid to buy (well, a house it's huge and not everyone can offer it, maybe that's why so many people answered "no"). But also considering how much a wedding usually is, it is not especially wiser and doesn't create less problems if you separate ! Think about it, administratively it's a huge step to divorce, you can't get to church the next time you marry (and for many girl's that's the dream) and it's expensive too (well in france at least), so if the whole point is to get in trouble at the end, well i'd prefer the house than the wedding.
Julia-Millay-Walsh Julia-Millay-Walsh 6 years
Wow, it's interesting to hear how many of you and your friends have bought a house before marriage. Katiekat95, you're living proof of what I'm wary of. Lucysd81, very smart of your to get a buy/sell agreement. That's definitely something the rest of us should consider! Here's to hoping that the worst-case scenario doesn't happen for any of us — or Jude and Sienna!
lucysd81 lucysd81 6 years
My boyfriend of 5 years and I recently bought a house together. I don't feel like we need to married, our commitment is deep regardless. I would never have bought a house unless I was sure! That said, we did make sure to get a buy sell agreement, which outlines what happens in the event that one if us wants out. With a backup plan in place just in case, I feel we made a wise choice.
Laurafina Laurafina 6 years
My best friend owned a condo with a longtime boyfriend. They got engaged, then she found out he was cheating. They ended up having to short sale the condo and it did a number on her credit. Who knows what can happen. I definitely would not buy a house with someone before we were married unless I could afford it on my own if something happened. You never know, married or not.
katiekat95 katiekat95 6 years
NO WAY! I lived with a boyfriend who I thought I would marry and it ended with me homeless. I have bought my OWN house. My current boyfriend and I are serious but he will not move in with me until we are engaged. I cannot go through that again. You may think it will work out...but without a true commitment you NEVER know.
likethedirection likethedirection 6 years
I bought a house with my boyfriend last spring. We're engaged now and will be getting married next spring.
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
these 2 are getting married :rotfl: omg, thanks for the laugh. how many public splits/affairs between the 2 of them? wow. i give it 2 1/2 years and 1 kid.
nguidjol nguidjol 6 years
I second that starbucks.
amber512 amber512 6 years
My husband and I rented together before marriage, but I wouldn't have bought a house with him first.
dexaholic dexaholic 6 years
Nay. I wouldn't buy a house with someone before we were married or engaged with a date set. (I was previously engaged but never made it down the isle, so it doesn't always end up the way you think it will.) I would, however, live with someone first; split the rent, if you will. I think it's so helpful in getting to know someone.
starbucks2 starbucks2 6 years
We bought a house together about 1 1/2 years ago and are just now getting married this summer. I don't know what this weird fascination with marriage is. Like a relationship is never serious unless you wear a ring. So stupid. We were 100% commited long before we were officially engaged.
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