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Open House: Would You Register For a Housewarming?

In Philip Galanes's latest Social Q's column, a 32-year-old woman wrote in saying that she'd decided that marriage wasn't for her. However, since she'd been in eight weddings and had to contribute oodles of presents over the past decade, she wanted to register for gifts for her housewarming party.

Galanes advises,

But the difference between their weddings and baby showers and your housewarming scheme is that their sole intent was not to rack up gifts. Don’t get me wrong: a housewarming is a great idea, and you may nab some nice loot. No gift registry, though. The party should be for celebrating your new place with friends, not for telling them how to outfit your kitchen.

This situation reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City. Can you guess which one? Find out when you


In season six, episode 83, "A Woman's Right to Shoes," Carrie's Manolos are stolen at a baby shower. To recoup her losses, Carrie decides to register at Manolo Blahnik, in celebration of her marriage to herself. In the end, her beloved shoes are replaced, and all ends well for our heroine. While I admire Carrie's nontraditional registering, I don't think I'd have the audacity to do something similar. Would you?

By the same token, do you agree or disagree with Galanes's advice for the woman interested in registering for home items? I know that in the past I've felt annoyed by the many, many baby presents, bridal shower gifts, and wedding presents I've purchased in my lifetime, but since I'm now married, I have absolutely no right to complain about these things anymore. However, I know that my attitude might be different if I were still single. What are your thoughts?


Join The Conversation
equestriennechic equestriennechic 8 years
I think it's a great idea! If you're at that point in your life where you're getting a pretty permanent place of your own and don't see any marriage in the near future, why not?
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
I think it would be tacky for a housewarming party, but for a wedding it is practical.
ElanaRobinson ElanaRobinson 8 years
I think doing a housewarming registery depends on the situation... and the people. I don't think it's simply right or wrong, it just depends...
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
People do not invite others to their wedding just for gifts? How much do some people spend per person on a wedding? Now tell me how much a family of three is going to give for a gift? The extended family probably won't be at the wedding shower anyway. But i do agree that a housewarming registry is extremely tacky. if you don't want to get married, that's your choice; no need to be the single bitter lady about it
krae85 krae85 8 years
if people don't register for the things they'd like to get, when people are going to be buying them something then they end up with a lot of stuff they don't like or want. registries are practical, remove yourselves from thine high horses ;)
pixelhaze pixelhaze 8 years
i am against gift registries in general.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
A registry for a housewarming is a little much...
Vaadsfweytes Vaadsfweytes 8 years
By the way, I have been invited to a housewarming party with a gift registry once. It was from someone I only met a couple of times, and he flat out told me he was throwing the party just to receive necessary things for his new flat. Of course, I didn't go.
Vaadsfweytes Vaadsfweytes 8 years
It's flat out tacky! For me, any type of gathering should be about celebrating and sharing happiness together with good food and drinks. I dread Bridezillas who invite me to every event possible to get gifts although I barely know them. That 32 year old woman mentioned above sounds so bitter and sad.
laurelm laurelm 8 years
Registry and housewarmings are a tacky combo and I have never seen it done. On the other hand, I think it is rude if you come to a house warming without a bottle of wine or something. I would not attend one empty handed.
aprilmayjune4 aprilmayjune4 8 years
If you have an issue with spending a lot of money on wedding gifts to the point that you basically want to be reimbursed, then don't spend so much on wedding gifts! Related to this: I realize that it's custom now to give a wedding gift that is about of equal value to how much your plate at the reception costs, but that is just silly. Weddings are not investments in hopes you will be getting more than you put in.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
As for me, gifts were unnecessary. We always had what we needed.
foxie foxie 8 years
Um yeah, snowy. Wait until an event warranting gifts to bother getting back in touch with old friends... sorry, but that's highly suspect. I would never dream of going to an old friend's wedding if she couldn't even have been bothered to keep in touch with me or invite me to visit her any other time.
bluepuppybites bluepuppybites 8 years
My husband and I are getting ready to move into our first home. I am just so excited because we've worked really hard to get it and we would really like to show it off. That's the reason I would throw a party, I already have all the stuff. (well except the furniture to put in it but I would never ask someone to buy me a sofa) For years I have wanted to play hostess for the family get-togethers, but just didn't have the space.
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 8 years
""If getting gifts from all your friends wasn't such a big deal, couples wouldn't invite people they hardly know (coworkers of parents, friends they haven't seen for years, etc) to their wedding and there wouldn't be a registry to begin with"" that assumption about peoples motivation is quite strange! if anything, i think people invite the people they haven't seen for years because those people still mean something to them and they want them to have the option of coming. just because we're busy and don't see our old friends often doesn't mean we wouldn't want them at our wedding! and parent's coworkers? obviously because they are important to the parents, and they probably hear about the happy couple often from which ever parent they work with. i would be shocked if someone invited me to her housewarming and gave me registry info. i know the episode of satc you are mentioning, and although carrie's friend seemed a bit rude, i think carrie was out of line. it was her choice to give shower/wedding gifts to the friend and not unreasonable for anyone to have a no shoes in the house policy! her friend did not owe her shoes! i give gifts that i can afford, no strings attached! i would only register for china or silverware, since it is tradition, but i heard silverware is crazy expensive now so maybe not even that!
lawchick lawchick 8 years
housewarming parties = fine. housewarming registries = tacky. I didn't have a housewarming party but I've been to some. I enjoyed the ones that were just like any other party (great food, wine, etc). Not so much the ones that were from 2-4 on a Saturday afternoon with some cokes and crackers. The latter one was, perhaps unsurprisngly, one where the new homeowner had a registry.
Punk-Glam-Queen Punk-Glam-Queen 8 years
I think people do use weddings, showers, etc. as a way to get gifts. Not my style. I'm probably in the minority, but I agree that these occasions are for celebrating with friends and loved ones and not about getting gifts. I was adamant about not having a wedding or baby shower for that very reason. Besides registries take all the fun out of shopping on your own... the thrill of the hunt is much more exciting to me! In the case of SATC, I think Carrie was right for asking for her shoes to be replaced. If I found myself in the same situation, I'd send a bill -- who expects to have their shoes stolen at a private party? Obviously a guest at the party took those Manolos knowing full well their value, and furthermore rudely left someone without shoes. If anything like that ever happened at a party of mine not only would I be mortified that someone stole something when I graciously invited them into my home, but I'd offer to replace the item immediately. I've had vintage items stolen at parties and the attitude was "oh well" which is outrageous to me.
nyhope nyhope 8 years
ugh. terrible and tacky. i hate registries in general. registering for a housewarming is inappropriate in my opinion. i just had my first housewarming and people either asked me if there was anything i wanted if they were super close friends or just brought me something fun and awesome. i didn't have the party to get gifts. i just wanted an excuse to invite a lot of people over.
krae85 krae85 8 years
lol housewarmings and housewarming registries are the norm in Texas. No biggie, but usually someone gives you a housewarming, you don't plan one for yourself.
sundaygreen sundaygreen 8 years
I think if I was in my thirties and getting married and had basically already set up house, I wouldn't have a registry (why do I need another, better toaster? or an expensive set of knives I should be buying myself?). I think registries make sense, perhaps, for very young couples who are just starting out. Some of my friends who got married very young (think early twenties) needed help from their parents and friends for the basics - then perhaps a registry is appropriate. So having a housewarming 'registry', if you're in your 30's? That just seems a bit pathetic. Can't you buy your own stuff?
foxie foxie 8 years
I pretty much disagree that a big part of weddings/baby showers is NOT to get gifts. If getting gifts from all your friends wasn't such a big deal, couples wouldn't invite people they hardly know (coworkers of parents, friends they haven't seen for years, etc) to their wedding and there wouldn't be a registry to begin with. That being said, I do think it's pretty tacky to have a housewarming registry. Registries are tacky in general, but a housewarming registry? That's just pushing it.
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