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Advice For Dating a Friend

Group Therapy: I Want to Date My Friend

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have known this guy for about 15 years. We went to college together, he is about five years older than me. Back in college we were acquaintances, and hung in mutual circles. We lost touch over the years. Fast forward to about two years ago. We reconnected via Facebook and met up with another mutual friend to reconnect.

Over the past couple of years we've started growing our friendship, and I have lost about 40 pounds since we reconnected. He has been dating a girl on/off for about a year; she has broken up with him three times in the last year due to her commitment issues. During their last breakup, my friend made it clear that he had grown attracted to me, and if we were both single (I was seeing someone at the time), he would like to start dating.


Since then I have broken up with my boyfriend (not because of my friend, other issues were in play). I had never considered dating my friend until he broached the subject, and since then I have seen how we are very compatible, and I have grown physically attracted to him as well (I wasn't before).  My friend has gotten back with his girlfriend, however, and asked me if I felt awkward after everything that was said. I told him no, but secretly I wish that things would work out so we could date. Recently he invited me to meet up with him and his girlfriend for dinner and the friend I was with said it was clear that my guy friend is smitten with me.

My question is, do I sit back and wait and see if she breaks up with him AGAIN and stay friends with him in the meantime, but not too "chummy" in order to keep the attraction there?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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totygoliguez totygoliguez 5 years
He is obviously into his girlfriend. If he wouldn't he wouldn't be going back to her all the time. My advice is for you to move on.
shreerose shreerose 6 years
Agreed, atraditionalalist.
atraditionalist atraditionalist 6 years
I don't know OP, for someone who is so smitten with you why would he get back together with his girlfriend? Why can't he break up with her if he likes you so much? why does he have to wait for her to dump him? I just wouldn't be so quick to jump onto the "he loves me!" wagon. He might just enjoy the flirting and the attention. I'd just do my own thing but don't pine for him. Just leave him to his relationship
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