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Alison Brie Excerpt From Worst Laid Plans

What's the Worst Sex You've Ever Had?

We love Alison Brie, better known as Trudy Campbell on Mad Men and Annie on Community. Not just because she loves to talk about sex but mainly. She wrote an essay about her worst sex ever for the book Worst Laid Plans that Nerve has an excerpt of. The worst? She tried to turn a gay man straight in art school, and failed.

She didn't give up on him though! Not even when he earnestly — yet so ironically — suggested they do it in the closet. "I wasn't about to let this little fairy destroy my hard-earned sexual legacy," she wrote. "I've made out with Mormon chicks, for Christ's sake!"

So whether it was your first time (or his) or sexual experimentation gone awkward, tell us about your worst laid plan.

Image Source: WireImage
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
Shit I have had a lot of bad sex! Though I promise the good sex that I've had more than makes up for it.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
And one more... my high school boyfriend sometimes made sound effects in bed... the train was his favorite. He was the first guy I slept with and I thought it was weird, but I had nothing to compare to. I secretly wondered if he was gay... and from what I hear he did finally came out of the closet!
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
Two guys really come to mind... the first, I found out later, had some serious mental health problems (give me a break, he was hot and I was 17). The foreplay was amazing and went on for hours but once he was inside me he went limp in less than a minute- didn't cum- and then hid in the closet. His penis was weird shaped too- about 7 1/2 inches but it was kinked in the middle at a perfect 30* angle and the head was really little, and he kept slipping out. I honestly tried to fuck him 2 more times, and the same thing happened. Later he told everyone I fuck like a fish, which I countered with: even if I do, I'm hot enough he should be able to keep it up for more than 2 minutes. My reputation was later redeemed when his long-time GF agreed that he's lame in bed. I actually run into them every year or so, we're totally cool with each other. The other... this man, the things he can do with his tongue far surpass anything anyone else has done- but he drank too much and he could barely get it up and he would pass out sometimes when we were in bed. The few times I got him in bed semi-sober he was pretty good though!
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
My first time the guy was so small I wasn't sure if we had liftoff yet. And I had an ex who was strictly interested in jackhammer sex. Not hot.
Miss-Infamous Miss-Infamous 7 years
I cant even remember the last time I had sex! But I had one guy who was REALLY SMALL! Like the size of my middle finger but it was like he didnt know he had a small penis it was weird I liked him a lot but that was back in my early 20's
kismekate kismekate 7 years
yahh...not many words to describe those literal 2 seconds.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 7 years
I'm sure most of us have had encounters with Two-Pump Chump.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
"I wasn't about to let this little fairy destroy my hard-earned sexual legacy," LMAO! Wow, I can hear a few Queens in the Castro saying that verbatim, lol. This is embarrassing but you asked. I had sex with a guy who was really handsome, sexy and had everything going for him except for the fact that he was really really small (you know, down there small). What made it worse is he was strictly a giver not a taker. I'll let ya'll figure that out. So there I was pretending I was enjoying it when in fact I really don't think I was stimulated what so ever. The things we do when we're young and silly. Today I would have had a clear answer for him, lol.
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