Skip Nav
10 Lies Women Tell on a First Date
24 Ways to Channel Snow White This Halloween
The Unexpected Painful Side Effects I Experienced With My IUD

Am I Being a Crazy Girlfriend?

"Am I Being a Crazy Girlfriend?"

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

Here's the background: he was engaged to her, that ended, and we started dating very soon after. About six months later, we moved in together, and I found out that he had secretly been emailing, calling, and seeing her from September to December — they even saw a romantic movie together! Nothing happened, but I only found out because I had a feeling something was up and looked through his phone a couple months later. I'm still trying to forgive him.

Fast-forward to today. We've been fighting for the past month or so, so I decided to look again. I found that there were no pictures of me in his recent image gallery, only of his ex, porn, and random stuff. There was also a draft text message he typed to her on his phone saying, "Can we talk?" What should I do? I've never snooped through another boyfriend's stuff before, but then again, I never had a reason to. I'm not sure how to go on from here because I moved and left my family and friends to be with him. Am I being too suspicious? Is it normal to go through pictures of your ex for weeks on end? Help!

There's lots of important stuff going on in our community. Join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups, and maybe we'll feature you here.

Image Source: Thinkstock
lauraxtc lauraxtc 5 years
Eeesh I feel for you. I would leave him. I was once in your shoes and I was crazy over him. No matter how many times he lied and betrayed me, I forgave him and in the back on my mind I knew I would never find peace with him. I finally told him to leave, when he did I was a MESS. But thankfully I had a good friends support system that helped me through it. I changed my number and lost all contact with him.   I finally ran into him and realized what a freakin deuche bag he is. It hurt so much during the time but it was definitely the right thing to to.   I wouldn't even try to fix something or someone that is broken like he is. and you may be broken too because you seem to want to stay.   good luck to you honey.  
BelleMorte-1785 BelleMorte-1785 5 years
I have so been in this situation and it sucked.  I ended up trying to try to convince him to stay with me but it didn't work. He ended up being with her on my graduation day. I worked out more got super fit and moved on. I saw him a few year later, after I got my BA and was engaged. He was still working in the same place, dropped out of college and still lived with a roommate. It may feel like you have no possibilities, or that he was the one, but once you open yourself up you will find that great things happen.
zenaiko zenaiko 5 years
Are you being too suspicious? No. Is it normal to snoop through your boyfriend's phone? Yep, especially if you have good reason to suspect something, and he's lying to you. I know this may hurt, but I think you were his "rebound." He very obviously still has feelings for her, and I don't think this is going to bode well for you in the end. I'd of been outta there the moment I discovered he was lying, and sneaking around with his ex-fiancee. He can't be trusted. Plus the fact he has no pictures of you? He's not into you, because he's still hung up on the ex. You deserve much, much better. This guy is an @ss, and you're completely wasting your time. Give yourself the respect he so obviously isn't, and leave with your dignity intact.
Melficent Melficent 5 years
Confront him directly about it and if you still don't like the answers you get, then brake it off and move on. I agree with Biwife you clearly have huge trust issues to start with and HE is not over her. Dating you so soon after breaking up with her it's called a REBOUND.
janneth janneth 5 years
You cannot live like this.
BiWife BiWife 5 years
exactly, he's not over her, plain & simple. let him know you violated his privacy to check up on him and her and what you found has made you realize he is not over his ex. Let him go & move on. Also, next time you get the urge to snoop on your significant other, talk to them - snooping only breaks the trust. If they're up to something, you'll be able to tell when you talk to them.
Aquadave Aquadave 5 years
Get rid of him. Go find you a good guy
bluejay17 bluejay17 5 years
I'm sorry to tell you he's not over her. You started dating very soon after he broke up with her, and things seem to have gone pretty fast, moving in together and all of that, so maybe he didn't have all the time he needed to grieve and get over her. I think you should move on, give him some space and time, for him to decide what he wants. Good luck
Not-Princess22 Not-Princess22 5 years
I am really sorry, but I think you should let him go. I know is something extremely difficult to do, but you deserve someone who is not thinking in anyone else but you.
Ausland12 Ausland12 5 years
The only people who go through pictures of their ex for weeks on end, I believe, are people who are still not over them. It seems from what you've written, that you two got together at a time when he wasn't completely healed from the breakup with her. Otherwise, he would feel no need to contact her or see her if his feelings for her had passed and if he truly wanted to make a new relationship work. You might be thinking, "well, she was an important person in his life, so maybe they would like to stay close as friends." That assumption would be legitimate if he actually made an effort to tell you about his plans to maintain a friendship with her. On the contrary, he is keeping all of that from you. To me, it seems like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I would really think hard about this relationship and if his infatuation with his ex is something you can live with. I, personally, couldn't stay with someone who I felt prioritized an ex over me. It might be time to walk away and see if he follows.
Woman Married Her Husband's Best Man
Halloween Movie Couples Costumes
Should I Have a Threesome?
What to Know Before Wedding Dress Shopping
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds