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Apple Less Afraid of Menstruation Than Tampon/Pad Companies

Apple might not be afraid of using terms that conjure up images of a woman's monthly menstrual cycle but advertisers — and many of us — are. The tendency to avoid saying menstruation at all costs is matched only by those bears in Charmin commercials included just to distract us from toilet paper's true use. The results can be much more awkward than just blurting out: "This is for your period" or "I have my period." Actually when you think of it, period is a euphemism too!

Some of the leading euphemism include:

  • "A hygienic problem" — From a vintage Kotex ad that never even says what it's for.
  • "Calendar days" — This one doesn't really make sense, but I get it.
  • "Difficult days" — Sanitary napkins promise to make them easier.
  • "Mother Natures' monthly gift" — I wouldn't really call it a gift, but Tampax would.
  • "That not-so-clean feeling" — A classic!

And some colloquial highlights:

  • "Surfing the crimson wave" — from Clueless, of course.
  • "Aunt Flo" — I wonder if women named Flo mind this one?
  • "Communist invasion"
  • "The Curse" — A little dramatic, isn't it?
  • "On the rag" — Always seemed vulgar to me.

What's your favorite?

zeze zeze 7 years
In high school my friends and I called it "Aunt Rose" but now I say "time of the month" or "cramping" or "period" usually cramping, since that is the worst part of it all! And I get how some people are ashamed, it has nothing to do with feminism and womanhood to me, its about not wanting to share something gross, unclean and hygienic! Everyone in the population gets gassy, has diarrhea or gets hemorrhoids at some point and guess what, people shouldn't proudly declare those things out loud either. I really get annoyed when people sometimes get crude and over-share disgusting details because "they are proud of their womanhood" it's like, no, you don't describe what happens when you eat bad Chinese, so don't describe this! And if your describe both, then I have no stomach to be around you.
J-Rabbit J-Rabbit 7 years
I'm gonna start saying "I'm on my iPad."
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 7 years
I say "period" or "Time of the Month". My husband refers to it as my "pregnancy test" or I'm "cleaning out the oven". If I get it - I'm not pregnant, no buns in the oven, so to speak. And I'm not afraid to say I'm on my period. If somebody asks why I don't feel good or look tired - I will say I have my period. Why should I be ashamed or embarrassed that my body is behaving naturally. 50% of the population gets a period (at some point in their lives) - why let the other 50%'s uncomfortableness of the subject dictate that a bodily function be banned from discussion? And saying "that not so clean feeling" is just wrong.
imLissy imLissy 7 years
I'm on seasonale, so I only get my period four times a year. My husband calls it, "that time of the three months"
boredgourdless boredgourdless 7 years
Uh, I just say I'm having my period....and that's it. But seriously, the "iPad/menstration" thing went over completely over my head, I was just thinking like, a pad of paper.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
"Lady Issues" "Red Tide" "Monethleys" or if someone is annoying me I say "On The Rag" On the rag isn't so vulgar, I think saying "Having the painters in" is worse.
neonbee neonbee 7 years
When I was 12, I always called it "Little Red Riding Hood." Now, i just say it's 'hell week' or 'bitch days.'
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
Err, I don't want to sound odd here but I say "period'.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 7 years
my week, my time
ManiMartinixo ManiMartinixo 7 years
My friend and I refer to it as our abusive boyfriend TOM ( time of the month). It's always hell when he comes back into our lives.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 7 years
I think all these cutesy names for a freakin' period are annoying. If period is an euphemism for menstruation, it's the only one I use. I never even thought of periods when I heard "iPad." I actually just thought it sounded like one of the guys from The Departed saying "iPod."
Leene Leene 7 years
Flag of Japan is funniest I have heard.
Lyv Lyv 7 years
You forgot the "red tide" ! :)
zzleigh zzleigh 7 years
I just call it my "Lady days", although I might need to start calling it "Communist Invasion".
jenni5 jenni5 7 years
My dad used to use "on the rag" everytime my mom got bitchy. I agree though it does sound vulgar.
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